Recently I feel I have a new love for visual kei. It's not that the feeling ever went away; I tend to go through up and down waves of my interests, always being there, but some higher than others. Visual kei always feels like a rock to me; it's something that helped me through some awful moments in my life and I'm glad to have found it and gain so much inspiration from it. A few weeks back, I watched a SEX-ANDROID DVD I have, but in the last week, I bought one of the Crush Of Mode twitcasts– having people like Pinokiwo, Old Circus and Kibouya Honpo. I feel like that reignited a fire in me– I don't think I've been that happy to buy and see something in a while. I don't know why; maybe it's the fact I haven't been to an in-person concert in years, maybe it's just 3 bands I like and I get to take a gamble on others. Either way, seeing bands I haven't heard of made me smile ear to ear for their performances. I still have to watch Kibouya Honpo's performance actually and finish Old Circus’. I also think something about watching people so happily partake in their craft is also incredibly great to see.
I started up my reference site again. I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy with it, but it is made for me and my use, not really anyone else’s. I know people can come across it, but the home page says it’s under construction anyway. It’s hard to categorize things, but I have to keep remembering it’s for me.
Other than that, I’ve been feeling highs and lows. I’m trying to exercise and clean a lot more, as it’s good for physical and mental health. I on and off feel really good about KKPP– But I think in the end it’s the same as everything– this is for me, my own project, just be happy I have time to give to it and release something in the world. I think it ties into the idea of “web immortality”; which in a similar note makes me think of seeing Uyuni’s old blog posts from like 2003…
I do think in the long term, it’s not so bad to have such bad feelings about my own stuff though. I think it’s normal, and usually a sign of something better coming. The rain has to subside at some point, and usually it’s better after it rains. It feels like walking through a dense brush in the meantime though. But anyway, the feelings are vented. I can move on.
4:46 PM ... 8.15.2024