Year: 2023
Rating: 6.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Blood, Death, Forced amputation
Summary: During a storm, two brothers involved in illegal activity happen upon a family house out in the middle of nowhere.
This movie is fine. I think it has a decent enough story that kept me entertained the whole time, plus good acting and nice cinematography. I think it’s fine if you just want to throw on a horror movie that’ll keep your attention for the duration. It’s nothing super deep or anything, but the twists are good enough that I didn’t feel dissatisfied after watching it either.
Year: 2024
Rating: 6.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Ableism, Sex/Nudity, Suicide
Summary: An aspiring actor with an external medical condition undergoes an experimental treatment to change his appearance.
A Different Man is a film that reminded me in some way of Anatomy Of A Fall– I think technically this movie was very well done and fine, but it just didn’t hit for me. I think the point they were making came through, but it really made me want so much more out of it. I don’t honestly have very much negative to say about it– the acting was fantastic, the music was good, the mood and setting were good– on all technical levels it hit the mark, but the script felt more unfocused in a lot of parts to me, especially towards the second half or so of the film. It could be a film that you need to see twice to get the full enjoyment out of– again, I don’t think this was bad in any way– but it’s not really something I have the motivation to go out and see again.
Year: 1977
Rating: 4.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Death, Sex/Sexual mentions [* This review is written a few weeks after watching it, so I may be missing some things]
Summary: A salesman who's tasked with selling a book compiled of legends of nobles in the area goes to a local castle, but he finds out there's recently been a death and is swept up in the funeral proceedings and murder mystery.
I don’t hate this film, but I do think this is a good example of a film perhaps just not for me. I remember reading people’s reviews after watching, and there was one that had something along the lines of, “A lot of the funniness comes from the character’s accents and expressions, which may not be as funny if you’re not Italian”-- maybe that’s the disconnect.
Going in, I understood the fact it was a giallo spoof and I can definitely see that attempt. I don’t even have a lot to say about this movie. I think the location was nice and I could definitely see what they were trying to do, but it just wasn’t for me. I think the part with the car in the beginning was the peak of it, and it kind of just went downhill in terms of actual fun after that. In a way, I think the actual murder-mystery behind it was the more engaging part than the attempt at comedy, but there were a few moments that I did think ‘Yeah, that’s clever’.
Year: 2023
Rating: 6.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Blood, murder, cannibalism, suicide
Summary: A chef with gambling debt is invited by an old colleague to visit him in a foreign country. After the friend's sucide, he takes on his identity and uncovers what might have led up to his friend's decision.
I think this movie is fine. It overall kept me engaged in the plot and the acting and scenery was good too. I think a movie like this could have done with more pushing in some way or another. It sort of reminds me of other films I’ve seen involving rich people and cannibalism, but it’s not a 1:1 of any film per se either.
Year: 1977
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Death, Gore/Blood [Not super realistic]
Summary: A chef with gambling debt is invited by an old colleague to visit him in a foreign country. After the friend's sucide, he takes on his identity and uncovers what might have led up to his friend's decision.
Suspiria is a movie I’ve wanted to see for a while, and in a way, I did see it before, but as a remake. I think I much preferred this to the remake. Suspiria isn’t a very convoluted film, but I can see why it stands out.
The acting in this movie goes from fine to really laughable. I think sometimes it did take me out, especially in the beginning. I don’t think overall it’s a hindrance because the plot isn’t that deep to begin with. I’d say going just off plot, pacing and acting... It’s fine. It keeps you intrigued enough that you don’t feel bored and it goes by at a decent pace so you’re not exhausted by the end (though I did watch this with like an hour gap in between the hour mark and the last 38 minutes.)
I do see why this movie made its mark on cinema though: visually, it’s stunning. I love the use of colors, both from the scene lighting and the actual sets. Everything is so vivid and so cool to look at, it really helps carry your eye all over the screen. One of my favorite scenes is towards the end actually, as Suzy discovers the secret room and the way they illuminated her from behind the curtains.
Also, I really do have to say I love how they did the more bloodier scenes. I’ve become more and more someone who prefers the over-the-top look of gore– the scarlet red as opposed to a realistic deep red, and I think it worked well in a film like this, especially one that had such an emphasis on the color of everything. However, speaking of gore, the ending scene with the pins in the eyes...ouch...
That whole last 15 minutes or so really did a lot for it. In that instance, it really reminded me a lot of House– both with the chaotic nature, the special effects, the lighting, the witches... But a quick Google search made me realize they came out the same year. I guess the 70s were just like that.
Year: 2006
Rating: 8.0 / 10
Content Warnings:
Summary: A high school athlete and a braniac meet over winter vacation and discover their love of singing. After break, they find out they're attending the same school and plan to try out for the musical despite social pressures against it.
High School Musical is a film that if you asked 9-year-old me what I thought, I’d probably say “ewww” and then proceed to watch Titanic for the 8th time. I’m glad to say I am no longer the 9 years old version of me and am willing to shed my inhibitions and preconceived notions of “what’s cool” to enjoy something silly and cute.
I’m not a musical fan by any means. I’m not someone who purposely avoids them like the plague (one of my favorites, Repo! The Genetic Opera, is… Well, exactly that! And I grew up watching Grease more times than I probably should’ve.); I’m more or less someone who just isn’t as excited when I hear something is a musical. I can explore why this is (I’m a certified ballad hater), but that’s not what this is about. No, this review is about something much more important: High School and Musical… Auditions.
I will have to say: I am very surprised by a film with this name that it was just for musical auditions, but that’s not here nor there. The actual content of the film is what matters and honestly… I have to apologize to HSM for being such a hater as a kid, this shit is good. Genuinely, I think this is a good movie and I see why it was so beloved. The plot is simple but original enough that it’s still fun and enjoyable every step of the way. The music, even though there are those accursed slow songs, managed to be fun and genuinely just a good time. The humor in it actually held up pretty well, which was nice. I think the bit of clunky acting, especially in some of the beginning scenes, is more endearing than anything.
When I watched this movie, I was feeling in a bit of a depressive state and I wanted something to dig me out of that. By no means did I think this would genuinely make me feel better, but I knew at least I could watch it finally. By the end of it, I had a smile on my face because it was a genuinely fun and worthwhile experience.
Year: 2008
Rating: 4.0 / 10
NOTE: I'm not using the spoiler tag on this because it all feels very... Nothing-y lol.
Summary: A high school athlete and a braniac meet over winter vacation and discover their love of singing. After break, they find out they're attending the same school and plan to try out for the musical despite social pressures against it.
No, this isn’t a typo– The day after I watched HSM I decided to watch Sunday School Musical. For some reason, I kept getting recommended videos of different YouTubers I don’t watch reacting to this movie… And instead of watching those, I for some reason decided it was better to seek it out myself and watch it. Luckily for me, it’s free on YouTube…!
Before I get into a review, a small personal background note: I went to Sunday School as a kid, and it was being forced to sing that actually is part of why I stopped going. I wasn’t raised religious but due to the option being presented to me, I went… And then stopped because I do not enjoy singing around other people. I also watched a few different (varying degrees of) religious movies as a kid. My fun in watching this isn’t looking for mockery towards religion, it's more or less because I know these movies always have a very bizarre feeling towards them… Mainly because of the lack of budget.
Anyway, as I start on the movie, less than a minute in, I am met with this horrible noise– and that’s not some sort of diss; genuinely something fucked up with either the final audio of the film or for whoever uploaded it, because there’s a strange weird noise in the beginning that is obviously not supposed to be there. This leads me to something that is throughout the film: what the hell is going on with the audio. The audio of this film goes so up and down… To the point I went to look at the sound editor in the credits to check if they had one because it was atrocious. It got ever so slightly better towards the end, but the volume still was all over the place. I think my ears are slightly sensitive anyway, but the fact of it being a musical and having this issue felt even more confusing (HSM did not have this issue).
The songs in the film were fine. They worked as uplifting church songs and they would not be out of place on any Christian radio station or CD compilation. I genuinely have no issue there. Same with the dancing and choreography– I’m no expert but it didn’t stand out as bad either; It wasn’t particularly amazing, but it was fine enough. However, the dubbing in this movie for the songs was incredibly noticeable; You could notice a little in HSM, but this was like they weren't even trying.
The acting in this movie was… Probably about as good as you’d expect from something like this. The most jarring were the two lead girls, and it showed especially during any scenes with anger or sadness. I don’t think any character in this film was particularly likeable, save for maybe the MC’s aunt.
Now, the plot. I do actually have a few good things to say about the plot before I dissect it: I expected this to be a 1:1 ripoff of High School Musical in terms of plot (and music) and was very happily surprised when I learned it was its own standalone story. I think this was a really good choice, even if it didn’t really make sense (more on that in a second). I appreciate the attempt at originality with it and respect that so much more than a blatant copy Christian paint. Is the plot good? Well…
The initial set up is the MC, Zach, is in a church choir. Zach’s church vs this school choir (importantly, not a church choir) for getting a spot in finals, but due to another team dropping out, both teams advance to the finals. However, his mother loses her job, and thus loses her apartment so she and her two sons have to move in with their aunt. Now, Zach is a bit of a bitch about it blaming his mom… And then we meet Drea. Drea is also a bitch because she blames Zach for not doing more to fix it, and acts like he’s in a better position now(???)… All while he’s like 15, 16 at the absolute max. Anyway, definitely off to a bad footing of the likability of both these characters. An unimportant but funny side-note is I thought they were implying their dad died at the start… Which does not sound funny, but I almost wonder if they changed it to him being a soldier during production because there's another character who’s mom is dead and they thought it’d be too much parental death, because genuinely at first it reads like their dad is dead.
Zach and his family move into the aunt’s place and he starts attending a new school– the school he and his church faced off against. He has two classes seemingly in this school: culinary and bible study. In culinary, we officially meet the main love interest, Savannah, who is also a bitch to Zach for no reason. This is never really addressed again. This one kid, Miles, insists that Zach is a spy to the choir at the school… And then makes Zach carry out detention in the choir room… But doesn’t want Zach to join. I literally do not know what all of that is about but it felt really uncomfortable how Zach kept getting singled out. Either way, Zach ends up joining choir, Miles is a bitch to him. Also, for some reason there’s a subplot where Zach who seemingly just came to the school is having issues with studying and the teacher is a total asshole to him about it. Which none of this makes sense later because he studies with Savannah and gets everything right but it’s supposed to seem like a teaching moment when it’s… Not?? He answers one question to her after thinking for 5 seconds and gets it right. I just think this boy has some testing anxiety or something.
Anyway, the church Zach used to attend is going under and it becomes a ‘we have to save the church’ situation. Drea is also a bitch to the poor lady running this church, blaming her. The kids from that church and the school choir team up, having your standard hard to get along issues… Except it feels worse than that because it’s just caused by Drea and Savannah having a bitch off towards each other for no reason, which is magically cured with song. A girl in the club is like, ‘we can join our clubs together to win the prize, it doesn't say anything in the rulebook’. When they go to compete… Turns out the judges will make up rules and they don’t think a church and a school choir coming together is fair to the other teams. However, they still end up performing and the choir that’s crowned says, ‘actually, we want the title and prize to go to them’. All is good, the church is saved, Zach and Savannah kiss.
The question of the hour: Is this movie good? No. Do I think this would be something fun to watch with other people? Yeah, perhaps. Am I planning on doing that? No.
Kudos for them for trying, especially doing an original script and music, despite the clunky result. I’m sure for what they were going for it was fine enough. I think this movie is very much like what I thought HSM would be like before watching it.
On a final high note for this film, I do like the fact it wasn’t your typical believer vs non-believer story: it was just incredibly bitchy choir kids.
Year: 2007
Rating: 8.0 / 10
Content Warnings:
Summary: A follow-up to the first film, now the students at East High have gotten summer jobs at Sharpay's fmaily resort.
The second installment of HSM! I figured I might as well watch the whole series. I think this movie lives up to its predecessor– and I'm saying that as someone who always is weary of sequels. I think it’s hard to match the vibe and energy of the first film in a series all while making it still feel original. I think this works out!
I think they really helped flesh out the characters more– especially the side characters. I think the setup is fun and it still matches the sweetness of the original while still being engaging. The music and choreography are on the same level, and I think the actors do even better this time around. I think it’s just a really fun followup.
This movie isn’t without its goofy points, but like in the first one, it’s part of the charm. I think the whole sequence of Bet On It, as fun as that song is, can be considered goofy. I also really like in the sequence of ‘Got To Go My Own Way’ that it ends with Gabriella's mom coming to pick her up and her doing a silly run to the car. Like, obviously it makes sense, but it made me laugh because it grounded that these are literally just kids having kid drama. In a similar note, I think watching this film as an adult is a different kind of enjoyable, because hearing Troy and Gabriella complain about having to do work at their job and getting yelled at for running off to have a picnic is really funny.
I really liked this movie and I think it was a very worthwhile follow-up to the original.
Year: 2008
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Toxic relationship age gap yada yada, blood, murder, incest
Summary: Bella moves from living in Arizona with her mother to living in Washington with her father. There, she meets a strange classmate, Edward, and learns of his true nature.
Though it has been several years since I have been able to make it out into a mall, if I close my eyes and breathe in, I can smell the Hollister cologne, hear the post-punk, imagine myself walking into Hot Topic, currently adorned with Twilight merchandise. Hello, 2008…!
Twilight follows the theme of the latter part of this month– things I shunned as a child, that I'd ‘never stoop so low as to watch that’. Yes, I was one of those ‘tch I’m not like other girls, I’ll never watch this low-brow vampire movies…’ except, in my case, I was raised pretentiously and would have rather wanted to watch one of the 1930s Alice In Wonderland adaptations on DVD.
Now that I’ve watched it years after the hype, the mocking, even after the renaissance… What do I think? It was fine. I did not hate it, and I see why it gained so much traction as well. Do I think it was a good movie? No, not really… But it was fun, and I had a good time, and that’s more important than the technical aspects of the movie being good.
I’m not going in-depth on ‘oh this relationship is toxic’... No, that’s been discussed ad nauseam and I’m saving it for the sequels (This is edited after I’ve watched all the movies I’m reviewing, it wasn’t a preconceived judgement!). I think this is a movie where the goofiness of it is its charm. Even with the intro, the awkward teen conversations and Edward’s weird ass running away… It’s charming, I have to say. I don’t know if it was intentional or not (leaning towards not), but it did capture how absolutely silly being a teen is in a way that was cringey but endearing.
I think some of the camerawork was nauseating, but I think that added to the charm of it. Same with the incredibly muted color gradient– it was a choice! But I think it worked. Now for something that didn’t work… God I hate colored contacts so much. This might be a me thing, but whether it was done in post or actual colored contacts, every zoom in on Edward’s eye color change (or any of the vampires) gave me a visceral reaction, sort of like with Gackt’s weird contacts.
And I have to say, looking back… It is incredibly funny how Twilight spit in the face of vampire lore. I’m saying this as someone who grew up gothic and the whole 10 yards of that– I think it's absolutely hilarious. I’m not just talking about the ‘can go out in sunlight they just sparkle’ thing, which is even years later funny. No, my favorite thing was their modern looking house with floor-to-ceiling windows in the middle of the woods. I loved that for them. I also loved them getting so excited to finally use their kitchen. In the same scene, that one girl getting pissed that Bella is now part of the family is so funny… Like, girl, no it’s embarrassing for HER to now get lumped in with the family everyone considers to be like the epicenter of incest in the town.
I can’t do a Twilight review without mentioning vampire baseball. Actually, I probably can, but I’d rather not because honestly… It rocked. I don’t care, it was fun and silly and that whole sequence– dressing up for it and everything was so silly. 10/10, best part of the story.
Ironically the baseball scene is where the story falls apart with the weirdo evil guy getting his name revealed and the main big conflict of this movie occuring in the last ⅔ of it. While this isn’t bad per se, it is kind of funny to me.
Anyway that whole last sequence with the guy tracking Bella is so funny and makes no sense when you think about it for longer than 10 seconds. It’s great. Love that for them.
I was surprised with how much of my prior knowledge was vampires vs werewolves that Jacob felt like such an afterthought to the whole thing. Like I get that they were gearing up for a sequel and setting him up more at the end, but I legit thought this movie would be that whole vampire vs werewolves thing. I think Bella’s other friends were in this movie more than Jacob. Also, I don’t really have a place to say this elsewhere but I liked Alice she was cool : ).
Year: 2008
Rating: 8.0 / 10
Content Warnings:
Summary: It's now senior year for the cast, and they struggle with their decisions after highschool, alongside putting on a spring musical to end out the year.
Alright: It’s hard to make a sequel to a film that compares to the first… But how about landing the sequel to that sequel? Well, I think they landed it. Similar to my review of the second one, I think they were able to capture the fun and heart of the first two and expand upon it.
I think the music is comparable in catchiness to the first two, the elaborate sets and choreography set it above the other two ever so slightly. The “I Want It All” sequence was so charming and fun, and I think the more dramatic “Scream” was visually so fun. I think the plot was just as interesting and this time, they actually had a musical….! I also think everyone’s confidence in their roles really shined in this one.
I really liked what they ended up doing with Troy and Gabriella’s storyline. I was worried they’d go for ‘we have to go to the same school’ sort of thing, but I liked the actual resolution of their story. The ending was just very sweet and cute and a nice wrap up to the trilogy.
I was shocked to learn that this movie series released so fast; Usually when movies come out so quickly they're Not Really Good… But the love for this series really came through in all 3 and it worked out really well. Really great trilogy and worthwhile.
Year: 2009
Rating: 5.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Toxic relationship age gap yada yada, blood, death, offscreen child death
Summary: Bella is about to turn 18 and Edward decides living around her is too dangerous and he has to take fate in his own hands and leave her. This goes as well as you'd expect.
While watching this movie, one of my close friends asked me– “Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?” Given that Jacob wasn’t in the first one as much I can make my decision with a clear head… #TeamEdward. I am not saying this because I like Edward. He’s very annoying and he pisses me off… But Bella has annoyed me so much throughout this film and I think two annoying people deserve each other.
This whole movie is Bella being very annoying… Jacob was not as annoying… But he still annoyed me too. Again the only main character not to piss me off is Alice… truly the MVP of these movies and the backbone.
Anyway… This movie wasn’t as good as the first one. I think part of it is that the more competent directing made it a bit more boring, plus it was more annoying story wise than the first. Hearing Bella go on like “I have NO ONE” while ignoring her friends particularly annoyed me. Like girl… Your vampire boyfriend is a loser, go at least have fun. Maybe even have a little musical. I think that might fix you… And some therapy.
I will say: The CGI wolves were great. I think they really tried in earnest despite their faces looking goofy. I think it was kind of endearing. On the flip side… Please go back in time and take away those mail order lenses from the costume department!!! Please!!! I thought they were bad in the first movie, but this is so much worse.
I will say, I did like the weird ghost-Edward tailing Bella around looking like a sad, dejected puppy like “oh nooo don’t do something reckless and kill yourself nooo”. It was very funny. I also think the fact all the werewolf guys had to run around shirtless all the time was funny too… However, I do think it would be improved if they were wearing shirts and just looked like Harry from Scary Godmother’s Halloween Spooktacular.
This movie was in all a notable decline from the first in all degrees. Sad they didn’t keep the same director– genuinely I wonder what they would’ve done with the whole series.
Year: 2025
Rating: 7.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Attempted assault, blood, death
Summary: A woman and her boyfriend are going away for a weekend with friends. The vacation is soon interrupted as the billionaire who owns the house is killed.
I liked this movie! I think going in with no forewarning to the plot of the movie really made the experience fun as well. I think the acting was all around really good– though I’ve seen other performances of Sophie Thatcher and Harvey Guillén and thought they’ve done a really good job in other things as well; The others who I did not recognize brought an equal amount of talent.
I like the plot and setup of the movie. I think it was done really well overall, and the slow descent into realizing just what type of person Iris’ boyfriend, Josh, was. I was engaged in the storyline and excited about what would happen next throughout the course of the movie. I really do like how they did Iris’ relationship with Josh juxtaposed against Eli and Patrick; I think the subtle addition to show that there were people who it wasn’t just a power-dynamic thing really stood out (especially as it’s revealed that Patrick knew he was a robot; which kind of leads me to think Patrick’s intelligence settings were at least pretty high, unlike Iris.)
The ending was very satisfying, especially the scene interspersed early in the cutscenes.
Year: 1970
Rating: 7.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Blood, death
Summary: A wedding dress designer murders brides in an attempt to remember childhood trauma.
When I clicked to watch this, I forgot I had already seen it. I must’ve been in a mood because I didn’t write a review or particularly remember it. Whatevers the case, this time I can say I actually enjoyed it.
The version I saw of this was dubbed; I don’t necessarily mind dubbed films, but I am someone who overall prefers the original audio when presented with the choice. I think most of the dubbing done here though was pretty tight, better than expected, especially of a movie that is apparently quite obscure in terms of Bava’s works (at least according to Wikipedia). The only dubbing that stood out to not be as good as the rest were 1. The ghastly calling throughout 2. The child version of the main character, John. Those two both took me out of the immersion upon hearing them.
The directing and cinematography of the film really is gorgeous. The lush plants and exquisite pieces scattered around this gorgeous mansion, alongside mannequins donned in wedding gowns– every shot was worthwhile.
Now onto the plot. I really tend to like 70s horror because at least my experience has been a lot of fun concepts and this is no different. Forgetting the plot of this movie the first time I saw it, I forgot the reveal at the end which, honestly, is about what you’d expect. It’s not bad, it makes sense, but it’s not a big twist. I do think everything leading up to the reveal is good and doesn’t linger too long as well.
However, my favorite part of this movie is something that actually brought a lot of tension to the script: John’s wife, Mildred. Now, this subplot was a point of tension in the production of the film due to Mildred’s role was to accommodate the inclusion of actress Laura Betti. However to me this is what sets it apart as just some normal slasher film with an interesting backing of wedding dresses. I love her character and her inclusion in the film and to me, she adds a lot of charm to it. She constantly is a thorn in John’s side, in life and death. Every scene with her is a delight and I love her role in the story.
In all… Is this mind blowing cinema with a deep meaning? Not really. But it’s fun! And I enjoyed myself. It’s a pretty smooth watch, with beautiful scenery and filming, on top of a really fun score and a decent enough story.
Year: 1959
Rating: 4.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Harassment
Summary: Two women who live together agree to dates with the same man unknowingly.
This is a short 20-minute film. It has a pretty tight story… The issue is most of that story is just spent being uncomfortable with this guy trying to woo two different girls. Now, I will say– the acting is good because I genuinely felt uncomfortable watching this guy pester two different women, feeding them two separate life stories. However, just because the performance was good doesn't necessarily make it a fun watch. It’s not awful by any means, and it wraps up just as you’d expect. I personally do not see myself revisiting it, but I don’t regret watching it.
Year: 2010
Rating: 5.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Toxic relationship yada yada, Fake wolves getting hurt, blood, death, attempted assault
Summary: Jacob and Edward try to protect Bella from an army of vampires while vying for her affection
I think this movie is equally as blah as the second, but perhaps a little more frustrating in plot. I do think there's a hint of something good here, but in the same breath, that makes it a little more frustrating. Twilight seems to have an issue, or at least in regards to my compatibility with it, with making the side characters so much more interesting. Genuinely the scenes that stood out to me were Jacob’s silly wolf boys and hearing some backstories of some members of the Cullen family. The rest… Well, I think it’s easy to say that it felt slow even at 1.1x speed. I don’t usually watch movies this way, but it felt like everything was so slow… I don’t think that minor change ruined much for me.
Last movie Bella and Edward’s relationship really started grating on me, so this movie was not off on a good foot in that regard. I think it only gets more and more tedious the more I watch these (yes, at this point I’m going to watch the whole movie series… Might as well…!) I think the marriage thing is incredibly grating. The only part that was “fun” about it is the weird sequence in dialogue where Bella is like, “people only get married here if they get pregnant” and then is so confused about her dad wondering if she’s pregnant after talking about the marriage thing. Makes no sense to me, but it at least was kind of funny in how she just had that convo like 30 minutes ago with Edward.
I think the “traditional values” coming so into play with Edward just makes me dislike his character more. I’m not surprised by it, but him going off about “I wish I could've asked your dad if it was okay to kiss you” … Like bro you could’ve. You didn’t. That shit is weird anyway. You’re 108 grow the hell up. All of this while forcing her to marry him if she wants to be a vampire too is annoying (while going “I’d never force Bella to do anything she doesn’t want to…!”). He’s giving the adult men who preyed on people I knew in high school to a tee and that pisses me off.
Jacob’s also more annoying this movie with his annoyance of “Bella you like me… Choose me…”. I can give Jacob an ever so slight pass because he’s like 16, 17; I can give Bella a pass because she just turned 18. However, I cannot give a pass for his forced kiss on Bella, that’s nasty.
I wonder if they dropped the whole “vampires sparkle in the sun” at this point because there were many scenes in the sun and they looked the exact same. However! I will say: I actually do think the ‘newly turned vampires are stronger because they still have human blood in their veins’ is a decent concept.
The actual plot of this movie– yes, finally getting to it– is… Really unremarkable. The plot is a continuation of the last two; Evil vampire from the first movie’s mate builds up a newborn vampire army to kill Bella. The vampire council (Volturi) also want Bella dead because they think it’s prohibiting Edward and Alice from joining them. Vampire-Werewolf beef. Honestly, there’s not much to say. A lot of it is the weird Edward-Jacob vying for Bella’s affection, at some point Bella kisses Jacob like 10 feet away from Edward, full on smooching not just a peck and it’s not even a big deal. Whatever! I’m sure it’s important in the next film.
I think the critique of “Bella is a boring MC” finally hits full force here as everyone is rushing to protect her. Aside from her acting like an annoying teenager, I genuinely don’t hate her… But there’s nothing really interesting about her either. I wish we could get more on her aside from small glimpses. I remember reading that in a planned adaptation for MTV she was supposed to be a star athlete… That would’ve been more interesting! Especially as we get all these fight scenes…!
There’s not much else to really say. This movie is about the same level of interesting as the last one and I fear for the future. 4 hours to go.
… Also… We moved on from Jasper being a confederate soldier way too quick. What the hell was that about?
5:31pm .. .. // 03.01.2025