Year: 2015
Rating: 3.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Blood/Gore/Death, Mentions of sex [2], Emetophobia [2], Car accident [2/3], Home invasion [5]
Summary: An anthology of 5 interlocking stories.
Story 1: Two men are haunted by strange, floating creatures as they try and travel down the interstate. They reach a gas station, where they start looping every time they try and leave. The creatures in this kind of look like they belong in some alt version of Fallout... But look really goofy juxtaposed next to human actors. It kind of doesn’t really explain much besides something bad happened to the one guy’s daughter. Feels lackluster in the end, but I was curious despite the cheesy looking creatures. 2.5/10.
2nd story! 3 girls in a band get a flat tire while traveling to a gig. A couple stops and offer to help them, to which they eventually take them up on, getting in their car. At their house, they start to notice that the couple is off, especially as they have invited another couple over for dinner. I was really interested until the last like ⅓ of it, then it just kind of became a bit boring. I don’t even think you needed the thing with the ex-bandmate because it didn’t really add too much. 4/10.
3rd story picks up after the last, where a driver who ended up hitting the main girl in the last story tries to call for help. He talks to the ambulance and drives the girl to the nearest hospital but finds it abandoned. He ends up having to help her via surgery, being led by the operators. The dispatch is so fucking annoying in this. I can’t say it’s “wrong” because some 911 operators... Woof... It’s a lot of gross medical stuff and it’s not really interesting to watch. The whole segment just kind of drags despite it being higher tension comparatively. 2/10.
4th story features the dispatcher from the previous segment, who we see hanging up at a payphone. She goes to a local bar, which ends up being held hostage by a man with a gun who’s looking for his sister, Jessie. He’s then attacked by the man the dispatcher sat next to, who’s not human, but runs away with the bar manager who said he’s seen the sister. The bar manager brings him to his sister, and tries to take her home, though she refuses to go and tells him to leave. This is also one that doesn’t explain anything. We know Jessie is also some supernatural being but doesn't really get more than that and it again follows the trend of “interesting until it’s not”. 3.5/10.
Last story! A girl and her parents get a mysterious stranger at their vacation home. These turn out to be the guys from the first segment and after they kill the family (caused by the father doing something to the guy’s daughter), the creatures from the first segment start appearing. In general the vagueness that annoyed me in the first sentence never get explained here. I was really kind of annoyed because I was really hoping we’d get some answers, and instead it just feels like they don’t wanna commit to a storyline. 2.5/10.
My general thoughts on the thing as a whole are that the general concept of a timelooping anthology is really cool and I do think they connected it pretty decently. I also find the desert setting used like this really interesting, especially as they both utilize the day and night scenery. However, the stories themselves are just kind of... Eh.
Year: 2024
Rating: 5.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex, Nudity, Drugs, Blood/Gore/Death Infidelity, Incest
Summary: A couple books a vacation rental at a lake before their big move. However, after they arrive, another couple shows up who claim that they also had reservations. As the couples get to know each other, their skeletons come out of the closet.
It’s a decent movie! It’s funny, anymore I hear “erotic horror/thriller” and I think of the movies I was watching last month and... It’s not really that at all. I mean, even as far as erotic goes in this case... There’s not really anything really erotic. Like I can't really put it next to any other suspense with sexual elements and separate the two, but maybe European erotica from the 70s has fried my brain.
The story was interesting! The initial feeling of “couple comes in and slowly ruins other couples' relationship” does feel done before and I did call part of the twist early on, but it did keep me engaged. The latter part of the movie, specifically waiting on the killers to die, kind of dragged at points especially because they pulled the standard horror movie logic of the main characters not thinking (why the fuck do you throw someone off your boat then just sit there like :) as if they're not coming back...!?)
It’s not bad, I don’t regret my time watching it, but it’s not really one I think that’ll stand out to me either.
Year: 2026
Rating: 3.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Sexual Assault, Unwanted pregnancy, Abortion via unsafe methods, Kidnapping, Death/Blood/Gore, Child abuse
Summary: A film crew goes to interview Ted Bundy’s only living victim who hasn’t yet been interviewed. However, there’s more than meets the eye in her rabbit-filled farmhouse.
This is a movie that has potential to be so-bad-it's-good... But misses the mark for me. First things first: Personally, I don’t actually care for movies based on real life serial killers, especially ones who aren’t like, from the 1800s. It’s just a niche that I’m particularly morally conflicted on, even if it’s a really bad movie like this. On one hand, you’re not supposed to take this movie seriously; On the other... I dunno man, something about real life people dying and connecting it to a real serial killer feels unnecessary, especially one where there are living people who are still effected by the crimes.
By that last point: Genuinely, I personally would’ve found it more enjoyable if there wasn’t that angle. Like, yeah it’s Ted Bunny obviously playing off Ted Bundy but I don’t think you need that heavy of a tie. If Trolls 2 could have no original Trolls, then the world of cinema is your oyster baby! ... But I digress.
I guess it’s hard to fall into it being a silly goofy movie with that real life connection is what I’m saying. Though tonally, this shit was all over the place. We start off with a pretty harrowing kidnapping scene, like 30 minutes in are describing a sexual assault... And all in this movie that I cannot imagine being taken seriously. Not that you can’t do any of that, but it also feels weird in terms of tone to me.
I should also talk about the acting. Woof. There are some who are a lot better than others– The two guys in the beginning stand out as being the worst to me, second maybe to the 30-year-old punks they have later. No one else is winning an Oscar here though.
The general meat and potatoes of the story is... Fine? I guess some of it feels like it just lingers way too long. Why introduce the friends later on when they add nothing? The cop really added nothing too, in my opinion, and he was really fucking annoying. The main girl didn’t bother me so badly at least, but there wasn’t much there except throwing in right at the end she also dealt with child abuse like Ted Bunny (and a lot of “well we should kill him/ we shouldn’t kill him” debate from her and the cop... Who then she invites to see Taylor Swift before he dies. Which good. Fuck him.)
I do like the ending though, so I can say at least that was good. It definitely had some moments that caught my eye, but it needed some work.
Year: 2024
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings:
Summary: A documentary about an artist collective who built a room inside of a mall.
It’s... Okay!
I think the bones of the documentary– the people, the art collective, the process– is all very interesting. However, I think the actual direction and composition of the documentary could’ve been done a lot better. I feel it’s kind of poorly arranged and messy, namely during the middle section of it towards nearly the end. Genuinely I think a lot of information presented was interesting, but the structure of it felt tonally all over and it kind of felt like it couldn’t focus.
... I do think the idea of it being an apartment is kind of a misnomer though, but I get the need to refer to it easily as well. I kind of expected it more to be people living there full time and not it being a specific hang-out spot where people occasionally slept over.
Year: 2020
Rating: 5.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Death/Blood, Infidelity, Unconsensual filming, Missing animal
Summary: 2 couples go on a trip to a rental house and feelings start to be revealed, all as they're being watched by a stranger.
It was decent! It kept me interested and had decent plot twists and I think they set up things well enough to not be annoying overall (Like the guy not wanting to call the cops, but it’s the sort of logic that does feel in the realm of possibility so it’s more a character gripe than a writing gripe).
I don’t really have a lot to say about the film. I think it overall kept my interest, but not enough to fully rave about it, but definitely enough to recommend it if you’re into horror.
Year: 1969
Rating: 5.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Nuclear War, Implied sex (no nudity), Light nudity, Racism, Child death (unseen)
Summary: A black comedy revolving around a strange cast of characters who have survived a nuclear war.
I have to say, it is a truly unique post-nuclear war film. The subject of the whole affair is treated by everyone more as an inconvenience than anything that’s incredibly load-bearing, despite living in a wasteland. In a way, I really respect it because it’s definitely not the type of film that comes to mind when you think of this genre.
It’s definitely a strange film, with no real coherent story and more just a series of events around several characters. Even the set up for the story is obscured, no one really knowing how long ago it happened, just that it did and for 2m28 seconds. The whole thing is nonsensical, often poking fun at British culture and services, such as a man calling himself the BBC going around giving news stories and the police going around in an air balloon barking at those who loiter.
It’s not really a film meant to be sensical, and you kind of have to accept that early on to enjoy any part of it. It’s entertaining just for its absurd quality, but it’s kind of hit or miss with its elements mixed in, sometimes being a bit tiring. Overall, I don’t regret watching it, but it’s not really something I wanna revisit.
Year: 2021
Rating: 4.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Child death (mentions) [1], Infidelity [2], Murder/blood [2], Missing persons [1], Gross textures in food (mold/spoiled)[4], Body horror [4]
Summary: A horror anthology revolving around a cartoonist seeking inspiration in a reportedly haunted apartment complex.
Another anthology! Like the rest, I’ll take this one story at a time. They're refered to as chapters, so that's what I'll be calling them as well.
Chapter 1! The writer interviews the manager of the building. The manager tells him about orphans that used to live there that all burned to death after a fire. He then goes into a story about a novelist who used to live there who heard strange noises. He moves into this apartment to write, leaving behind his wife and infant child, promising to return when he’s done writing. Strange things start happening in his apartment, and he investigates, and ends up disappearing. It’s kind of run of the mill; Nothing egregiously bad, but nothing that stands out either. 3.0/10.
Chapter 2! This revolves around a lady who works in pharmaceuticals who lived on the 9th floor. She has a boyfriend, but he has a wife. He comes over and is angry that she called him at night, upset that his wife found out. He asks to be harbored there and that she tell no one he’s there. As with the last case, strange things start happening in her apartment, but instead of children, her bathroom radio turns on in the middle of the night. The next day at work, she’s approached by inspectors looking for her boyfriend for the murder of his wife and child. This was foreshadowed at the start in a news report. She gets ready to flee with her boyfriend, but when she’s getting home, he’s taking a shower and repeating the same thing over and over– “Don’t tell anyone I’m taking a shower here”. However, he knocks on her door and she ends up letting him in, showing the strange figure in the shadow of the bathroom. The ending is vague, but it’s at least implied she dies. It’s weird and kind of mindfuck-y at the end; I don’t know if it perfectly comes together, but I at least enjoyed the strange switch-up from an otherwise standard story. 4.0/10.
The writer investigates another man, a former tenant who sold the writer from chapter 1 his apartment and who lived into the same building. This leads into chapter 3.
Chapter 3 revolves around the man who sold the writer in the 1st story on the apartment. He lives alone except for a very creepy blow up doll he calls his wife and talks to as if she is. He brings her home a random bracelet. One day, his sink gets clogged and the plumber finds a bunch of women’s hair in the sink, explaining it away as some women wash their hair in the sink. At work, he makes a call but gets strange noises on the other end. Back at his house, he calls the manufacturer to his doll in for repairs to her neck and his drain keeps acting up and the doll vanishes as he’s looking away. His underling at work warns him to move out due to the dark history of deaths and cult activity there. His doll comes alive and attacks him. It kind of felt incomplete at the end, but the rest was at least interesting enough; 4.5.
The man the cartoonist is interviewing then tells him that he’s cursed by the followers of the cult that used to operate there and shows his lack of hands, stating all he did was market it. The artist then talks to a publisher who tells him to make a longer story, so he goes back to find more leads. The manager doesn’t want to tell him more stories at first, but the cartoonist tells him he’ll give him anything essentially, and the guy starts up again.
Chapter 4! A college student returns from studying abroad after flunking out. He goes to stay with a friend who’s studying to be a civil servant. He begins to notice the strange living condition of his friend, from strange acne and rashes on his face to the expired food he’s eating and mold everywhere. As his friend goes out for the day, the student begins to clean up his apartment. His friend comes home and screams at him, asking what he did to his parents, before running off. The student calls another friend to go to his place, but as he’s on the phone, the reception messes up and he notices new mold on the ground in the shape of a person that quickly disappears. The mold quickly returns all around him, and so does his friend, who says his parents are angry with him. His friend shows his face, becoming some sort of mold monster. He’s then captured by the mold, his screams ring out. It kept me entertained and thought it was unique, especially amongst the other stories– 5.0/10.
This last chapter ties in previous sections, so I’ll review it at the end of these explanations.
The cartoonist asks why all these things happen, and the manager gives him an apartment key to go see for himself. The cartoonist’s partner(?) eats his birthday cake along as he’s out gathering information and she listens back to the first tapes he’s collected. Meanwhile, the cartoonist meets a strange man on the elevator to this apartment who later chases after him in the halls. He finally makes it into the apartment he was given and looks around, faced with various papers hanging on the wall (talismans?) and strange writing all over. He finds a tape and puts it in his recorder to listen to and it’s from the manager, who admits he’s not actually the manager but was a tenant.
We find out the man chasing him was the fake manager’s brother and that they were attempting to rob the cult. They find the mummified body of the cult leader and the fake manager extracts a key from him, opening another door and finding money inside. He quickly pockets as much as he can as his brother looks on, hearing strange noises, looking around until eventually he looks back and the fake-manager disappeared. He then begins stuffing money himself until startled by a noise and seeing the feet of the mummy in the shadows, causing him to try and run away. The fake-manager appears again as the guy gets outside . However, this turns out to be the mummy in disguise, showing his true form when it’s too late.
We return back to the cartoonist, who’s faced with the closest where the fake-manager saw the mummy and he ends up being sealed inside the closet. The fake-manager comes out from the shadows, knowingly sealing the cartoonist in. The cartoonist’s partner finally arrives in search of him, coming across the cartoonist, but what seems to be a fake version of him, controlled by the cult leader’s spirit. This part was overall interesting! I enjoyed it and I really liked the visuals in this section. A good 5.5/10.
Now for a general review of the whole thing:I think the acting was solid and the location they used fit the atmosphere they were going for. The stories were a hit or a miss, but I feel like it was at least decent at the end and I enjoyed the twist. It falls into that category for me of “Not something I’d personally revisit, but I don’t regret watching it”.
Year: 2003
Rating: 2.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Death/Blood/Gore
Summary: 3 years after the original Battle Royale program– a death game situation for students– a second program called BR II is set up. BR II aims to take down the opposition for this program by sending more students to kill them, lest they be killed.
I watched the original Battle Royale twice; Once when I was younger and then again a few years back. It’s one of those I vaguely remember, but I guess now I’m watching the second.
The main thing about this movie is it doesn’t really hold my attention. Fast guns and violence don’t keep my attention and neither do really of the characters. I think that’s kind of the issue with big casts out the gate– you don’t really know who to focus on or who’s important, and the film doesn’t do a great job helping you. You know the girl in the beginning, the daughter of the instructor from the first film, is important but otherwise it’s kind of hard. None of the other characters fully stand out from each other personality-wise and it leads me to just feel a whole lot of nothing.
I can see a lot of what they were trying to go for with certain angles, namely the questioning of which side of battle you fall on and whose purpose are you serving, and the overall anti-American war machine sentiment. However, it’s kind of hard to fall into that completely with the rest of the film almost having a goofy tone at times.
An important note is that the original director, Kinji Fukasaku, passed away soon into filming and his son who had written the screenplay for both films, Kenta Fukasaku, took on his role. While I’m no aficionado to how films are fully produced and made, I can’t help but wonder if this effected the weird tonal dissonance going on.
I have nothing bad to say about the filming of the movie itself, I just think it ended up being a bit tiring plot-wise, especially as it’s over 2 hours without much to really say about it, but I do respect the heavy-handed anti-American imperialism and think that was ballsy, especially for the time it was released.
Year: 2021
Rating: 3.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Dead animal, Missing persons, Blood
Summary: A fake documentary/found footage film concerning an amateur hiker who gets lost in the Nevada desert.
It’s kind of obvious the inspiration for this film if you know a little about strange mysteries and disappearances. The TLDR is using the real life disappearance of YouTuber and experienced hiker Kenny Veach. While it’s no doubt this movie uses that for inspiration, it luckily doesn’t overtly lean on it beyond base details (hiker and YouTuber who goes missing under strange circumstances). I really appreciate that, because I feel it doesn’t spit on the actual case it’s taking inspiration from (Of course, you can argue ethics about using it as inspiration only 7 years post disappearance. Personally, I think when taking inspiration from real life cases, you should be overly cautious, especially when directly-effected relatives are still alive and it’s not even been a decade.)
Overall it just felt... Fine. I think part of this is due to the fact that I'm not really into found footage films, but I always give them a try despite that. This was made during social distancing protocols and it does make sense, but I don’t think it hinders the film in the slightest, and due to the documentary style, you don’t really need multiple people in one shot. They did a good job of emulating how a documentary feels and I’m sure if I just randomly tuned into this, before the end part, I might even be fooled if I didn’t know better.
Nothing really stood out in terms of like, things narratively, and I think that’s the bigger issue. Perhaps it’s the fact of wearing their inspiration on their sleeve but there’s not really much else to it. The whole film is conducted in interviews and footage, but nothing really stands out. The set up and the end are the only parts worth really mentioning– which the ending is he finds a weird cabin, leaves, comes back, is chased by a man with physical deformities, and then seems to be killed as a severed hand is found. That’s really it. There’s some misdirection here and there but I don’t even think it’s built up enough to go on about it.
I also just gotta get this out on the table: In the year of 2021, a man with 50k goes missing and leaves up a video for probably a few days until people find it... And you’re telling me NO ONE archived it? There’s a mention of the police having the harddrive and stuff, but I’m just talking regular internet people. This is the golden age of random youtubers restating things happening to other people and sneaky deletion– someone probably put it on the internet archive, someone probably reuploaded it, someone probably reacted to it. I cannot believe this part but ultimately oh well because it doesn’t even really matter to the whole scope of things besides “I saw a spooky cabin and I saw footprints”. This isn’t even the end video segment.
My other big issue is it felt like set up for a sequel. It’s no doubt they wanted a sequel for this film– and they got multiple. It’s 2026 there's already 4 out since 2021. I can't really say I have interest in continuing down this path.
All in all? It felt kind of tiring for me. It wasn’t horrible, but I also don’t think it was my type of film.
Year: 1976
Rating: 5.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Death, Blood, Nudity, Sex, Animal death (not seen),Sexual assault, Homophobic slurs
Summary: A retelling of the life of Saint Sebastian. When Sebastian tries to stop the death of one of the emperor’s servants, he is exiled to a remote station, where he is punished for his worship.
The movie on its basis is very interesting– a directly homoerotic Saint Sebastian movie all in Latin, with music by Brian Eno. In reality, it’s pretty slow and manages to be more of a pretty to look at film than something with a riveting story.
I’m not saying it’s bad, but it’s definitely erotica for a specific type of person– someone more attracted to masculine men than I am probably. However, even I can give it props that while the erotica portion isn’t for me, I still feel as though it’s a production that does actually make some scenes look sensual and mixes that well with non-sexual nudity as well. It’s also quite beautifully shot in general.
Now, I guess the thing that kind of tanks this movie for me is the plot is quite thin, a little too much so to be enjoyable by myself. A good portion of the movie is guys being guys naked with each other– fine and well, but it doesn’t add a lot. There are a few scenes that build onto the Saint Sebastian story, but at times that almost feels like it takes a backseat to more of the vibe-based atmosphere they were going for. Really the plot with Sebastian we get is the following: He gets exiled to a remote outpost and people shun him or punish him because he’s Christian. The only one who likes him is a guy named Justin. Sebastian is sent to be killed after he rejects the advances of the commanding officer (... An after edit: The Wikipedia article states its because he won’t take up arms for the Roman Empire but it really does feel it’s moreso punitive for rejecting the officer, as it happens right after.).
As I understand it, it’s not really close to the actual mythos of Saint Sebastian aside from the general thing of him getting shot with arrows. So if for some reason you wanted to watch this for accuracy there, you should probably not. However! If you want a gay, historical drama that leans a lot of vibes, it’s probably something you should check out.
Year: 1968
Rating: 2.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Sexual Assault, Racism, Nudity, Blood, Surgery, Incest
Summary: A movie revolving around a girl named Candy, satirizing pornographic stories.
The movie has a lot going for it: The composition of shots are quite lovely and there are a bunch of well-known actors (such as John Astin of The Addams Family TV Show fame and Ringo Starr of Caveman fame). There are moments of entertainment and interest but... The whole thing is kind of a slog.
It ends up being more creepy than funny, especially as every erotic scene is coerced. The non-erotic parts, which take up around 85% of the film, are at best nice to look at, at best just kind of boring. The nonsense in the film isn’t congruent enough to keep it interesting and there aren’t enough jokes to make it a comedy (Even understanding what would most likely be a joke at this time period... Which most of it just does not translate well for me). I understand this is satire, but the lack of humor in this film that isn’t just punching down makes it hard to really sit through. Instead, it feels more like a gauntlet of pain, especially with a 2 hour run time.
By the hour mark, I was already over it. Past then, it was really hard to keep focus but I also didn’t seem to really miss much either. It’s strange how a movie can really have so much going for it– some attempt at societal critique, beautiful sets and shots, actors known for their craft and Ringo Starr– and still be a trainwreck. It’s far more interesting for that than the actual plotline of the movie, and it’ll probably be the thing I remember most.
Year: 1975
Rating: 6.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Racism, Light nudity, Self-harm, Blood, Sexual assault, Death, Suicide, Pedophilia
Summary: A nun in a remote convent begins having visions of a demonic man leading her into temptation.
A nunsploitation film! You kinda have a vague idea what you’re getting going into these sorts of films. This one is actually more edgy than other ones I’ve seen, with the main character causing active harm– purposefully killing someone who had confided their suffering in her, going after a younger boy, murdering people. It kept a good feeling of suspense and tension, helped by the soundtrack which nicely complimented the acting and discomfort of the scenes. It also had a lot of twists and turns at the ending, which was a welcome surprise. It’s a rare case of a dream sequence film feeling like it works out as well.
While it overall is more or less genre-typical, it still works decently well in that genre and doesn’t feel like a regrettable watch.
Year: 1974
Rating: 5.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Sexual Assault, Death, Nudity,
Summary: In the distant future, society is split between immortals and humans. The humans pillage and grow food for the immortals, who live in a floating head, in exchange for weapons. One of the humans manages to invade the immortal society.
This movie is ultimately one that;s kind of sad that it just ended up kind of okay. There’s obviously some sort of vision behind this, but even in nearly 2 hours, it doesn’t feel as fleshed out as it needs to be. It’s trippy with some interesting looking sets and effects (and some that don’t feel as though they capture the presence of the future as well as they need to).
There’s a strong current of class division, but even that is kind of done in a mediocre way where if you think about it for more than a minute, it feels a bit useless. It feels a bit strange that the big thing for the brutals (i.e, humans) to do farming in exchange for guns... Especially as it seems the immortals seem fine to do other mundane chores (housekeeping, baking, ect). I don’t really get why they draw the line at farming.
The film does have a few merits and memorable things. Reading after, apparently that’s the actor who played James Bond a few times running around in a speedo. I’m sure that resonates more with people who are A. Not Faceblind and B. Have seen the James Bond movies. I also do think the scene of the giant, floating head vomiting out machine guns en masse is a sight to behold... But that’s really the big bizarre thing in this movie for me and nothing really quite matches up to that initial scene.
You can tell a lot of heart went into this strange movie, but it doesn’t really do it for me overall. I can’t even say like others it was so overwhelmingly bad either, though– for better or for worse.
Year: 2026
Rating: 8.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Kidnapping
Summary: A group of fashion terrorists kidnap an influencer and attempt to get her to join their cause
This is one of YouTube’s blessings– Something random washing up on my home page with a quirky name and just seeming interesting.
I’ve been watching a lot of home video type of content on YouTube, so short films aren’t so far off from that.
The film takes very clear inspiration from John Waters, and I say that with a lot of love. It’s done in such a fun way, it’s very endearing. It felt like a beautiful, shorter version of something such as Darkness– dripping with personality and love for the craft. Its humor is fun and enjoyable, as well as having a really killer track (done by one of the actors/directors!)
The ending is a cherry on top of just a fun, ~20 minute ride. The credits even have really cute behind the scenes photos, which is a fun bonus. Watch here!
Year: 1998
Rating: 6.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex, Nudity, Death/Blood, Animal death (fake)
Summary: A killer stalks a college campus 25 years after a massacre, fashioning every kill after an urban legend.
I don’t think this film is particularly great, but it is entertaining! I think the concept of urban legend based killer is kind of fun and overall on a technical level, it’s fun. However, it’s kind of a mess. The general vibe of this movie feels so weirdly off in a lot of ways but it kind of adds to the enjoyability of it– Why the hell is everyone so passe about deaths and people going missing for 70% of the film? Cops are one thing but people don’t even seem to care about others in their social circles...?
It kind of elevates itself from the general hack-and-slash premise but really weaving in the urban legends well though and keeping it interesting as to what’ll come next. The ending twist is also really fun and unexpected, but it does make sense and I really enjoyed it.
Year: 1975
Rating: 8.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex, Nudity, Death, Sexual assault, Nazism, Body horror (light)
Summary: A surrealistic biography of composer Franz Liszt.
A film that contains a musical number with a giant penis, superhero costumes and a vampire/Frankenstein plotline.
When people talk about reimagining, I believe this should be the gold standard. I know next to nothing about Franz Listz, and really you don’t need to for a film like this. In it’s insanity and strangeness, it also keeps core themes of Franz Listz and co’s life– very strange when you factor in the more over-the-top factors. EX: While Listz didn’t get talked to by the Pope Ringo Starr to hunt down a vampiric Wagner who had married Cosmina [Listz’s daughter], he did join a monastery and
Everything about this film screams spectacle– from it’s costuming to it’s set to the overall extravagant tone. I really thought it’d be something that would be like Zardoz– start off interesting and decline, but honestly, it stayed pretty good throughout, with one strange thing after the other.
It’s probably one of the best biographics and vampire movies I’ve seen and one I think I’d like to revisit at some point.
... Also, why was Ringo Starr in this too-
Year: 2025
Rating: 9.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Child abandonment, Death
Summary: A little girl enlists a “monster slayer” after her parents go missing, claiming it’s due to a monster under the bed.
Sometimes you watch a movie that just restores every bit of faith you had in cinema– this was it for me. It was adorable, entertaining, heartwarming, and intriguing for the whole duration. It had such a unique concept and such a clear vision, it really showcases some of the best of cinema.
Despite being a movie from 2025, it really reminded me of movies I watched when I was younger that I adored– City of Lost Children, The Fall, Mirrormask (... A bit regrettable with that one). It was rich in all facets– the acting was amazing (that little girl had me tearing up a few different times), the set design, the dialogue. It really felt like everything was utilized to it’s fullest and it really was such a fun and unique experience.
The plot took interesting twists and turns and really was just a blast. There were a lot of fun and unexpected things and I just felt 100% immersed the whole time, not even thinking about the world around me. Absolute joy of a film, definitely one I’d probably give a 10 when I do rewatch it.
Year: 1982
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Animal death (real? Roadkill), Elderly abuse (not directly shown), Light nudity, Death/Blood
Summary: After her estranged mother’s death, a woman returns to the family estate, which is a elderly care home that’s been in the family for decades. However, as she reads her mother’s diary, strange things begin happening.
A pretty decent psychological horror. Set in what I assume is the Australian Outback, it’s a really unique setting for a film like this (I’ve seen other films set there, but it’s more like serial killer stalking the outback vs. at a nursing home). It also helps set up a lot of the difficulties of the situation well, given how hard it is to contact further out in a one-phone town.
I was pretty interested most of the way through. The only thing that I really felt was unnecessary was the whole thing with the love-triangle. I think elderly horror- in the sense of crimes against the elderly– are some of the worst while being underutilized in horror. It think the film didn’t go overtly gratuitous, but still was hard to watch in certain scenes showcasing it and kept the mystery interesting.
I gotta say it. This film used slo-mo at a pivotal point towards the end and it just... Felt silly. Maybe it was the slo-mo screaming with it but it did just take me out, enough so that I had to write this portion.
Year: 2017
Rating: 2.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Nudity, Dead animals (butcher context), Death/Blood, Unsanitary
Summary: Thieves hole up in the remote estate where an artist and her two lovers are staying.
One thing I can easily say about this movie: The visuals are gorgeous. It’s very artistically shot and they really highlighted the beauty of the landscape. The issue is... Other than that, it’s painfully boring and feels tedious. If you get 20 minutes in and can’t latch onto it, it’s best to stop there. I think it’s more suited for people who are into high violence action movies or like the type of stuff Tarantino makes... Which I have little interest in.
It really emphasizes style over substance and despite a very thin plot, is kind of hard to follow. I don’t think I missed so much beyond the general gist.
8:41pm .... // 04.31.2026