Year: 1986
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Gore, Blood, Eyehorror, Body horror, Flashing
Summary: The story of a kidnapped android held in an abandoned warehouse. The android, Gurenica, exudes a strange substance that changes those who come in contact with it.
I wish I had watched a better copy of this. I had to sacrifice quality for subtitles because the better quality version I found had a LOT of missing subtitles. The version I ultimately ended up watching (which is on YouTube) had significantly worse quality. Oh well.
This movie is incredibly disorienting, but genuinely I think the film making is incredibly fun and it makes up for the absolute confusion that's contained. I have some vague understanding of what was going on, but it was more about the journey of watching it than even the plot.
Perhaps the overarching strange and chaotic nature help the fact everything is so confusing. Because everything is base-level strange and confusing and a bit overwhelming at times, it helps you fall better into this strange world that's being created.
The low-budget nature of this movie I think really helps the feeling of it being gritty and punk. It’s definitely not a no-budget film and honestly the effects (what I could see) aren’t really that bad.
All in all: No fucking idea what I watched but I did like it! Really hope one day I can see it in better quality.
Year: 2007
Rating: 8.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex (in paintings), F-Slur (used a couple of times), Non-sexual nudity
Summary: A surreal film dealing with identity, adoption and technology.
Let me be honest: I rephrased the summary from IMDB. Why? Because this movie is incredibly weird. It’s incredibly avant-garde and incomprehensible. It’s like they captured a dream in video format.
It comes across as a kaleidoscope of images that seem incoherant, but I'd wager it's more about seeing the forrest for the trees. It's when you step back and think about what is it actually trying to get across; Is it just some weird gay artpiece or is it actually a social commentary piece on technology? At first, I assumed it was the first, but thinking about it after and having it stick in my brain so heavily, I think it's the latter.
Despite being more towards the birth of social media, it really captures the concept of identity in a virtual age. Characters shift these identiies to a dizzying point, all while filming and watching each other. It's not just in terms of social media, as we delve into cuts to people watching something that seems like Teen Mom and a Paris Hilton-esque figure early on. I kind of wonder if it’s more of a rumination on how social media took what happened on reality TV and ran with it, adding on even more chaos. The fact so much is being said but so little makes sense adds to it. Also the focus on not only self-filming, but youtube channels and copying each other.
Either way, like Death Powder, they do a hell of a lot with a little budget. The level of cartoonish-dream-ery that it was able to accomplish is insane. Some of it also reminded me of ENA strangely enough, with the strange character and dialogue.
Also, genuinely, I love the video effects used. It adds so much to the mood, even when it’s small things like constant fading in/out and the tech overlays. It seems so beautifully of a certain era, but somehow the film still feels fresh despite that. A really interesting piece of outsider art that lands near incomprehensible. The more I thought about it after, the more I liked it and wanted to annoy people about it.
A side note... Is that MePearlA (also known as The Possum Lady) in this early on? If not, that's someone who looks incredibly similar with a very similar cadence. Couldn't stop thinking about it when she was on screen.
Year: 2013
Rating: 4.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Blood/Gore/Death, Pedophilia
Summary: A film crew yearns for their first major hit. However, after years of being unable to, they begin to give up. They end up crossing paths with yakuza gangs in a feud, alongside a man who's trying to not get killed as he was spotted with the boss' daughter when she ran away.
I really wanted to like this. Fun premise, Sion Sono directing (who's work I generally like), yakuza. But honestly it was kind of a drag. I think the first 2/3 could've been edited down sooo much. Most of the film was spent on the lead up and while the final scenes were very entertaining, it didn't pay off for a very, very slow first hour and a half. This movie had promise, but not enough substance to justify it's length. Really a shame, I had it on my list for a while too.
Year: 1989
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Death/Gore/Blood
Summary: A sentient, evil lawnmower stalks a New Jersey golf course for blood.
A movie about an evil lawnmower can go one of two ways: Bad or surprisingly good. This is the latter! I actually liked this one a lot. It kept me engaged and they played the ridiculous subject matter 100% straight, which was really fun. It’s a “don’t think about the logic, just enjoy!” Type of film. Just a good time and a solid, silly splatterfilm.
Year: 2021
Rating: 7.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Blood, Gore, Death, Nudity, Sexual references
Summary: A day in the life of a man who took over a dilapidated hotel.
This movie has a very unique vibe to it. When watching it, my mother said “It’s kind of like a Tim Burton x John Waters crossover”-- and she’s right! It DOES get a bit hard to look at during moments, due to so much decay and grossness around the hotel– but that in it of itself is art, even if I had to look away. In addition, the music helps this film along and helps build tension in crucial scenes.
The story introduces strange and outrageous characters, all except our depressed main character, Dave, who’s in a loop of waking up to his neighbor watching very loud porn. The hotel he owns isn’t technically in use, but it’s rented out to various characters such as a woman who wants to sleep with Dave and a man who wants to use it as a club space. The film does a lot more of mood through visuals than anything else, and as I said before, it’s quite striking in it’s approach.
You can feel the discomfort through the screen and it helps carry along what it’s invoking. The surface level is of course, depression, given the dilapidated state of the hotel and the daze our main character walks around in, not even caring when things are on fire. I also got the feeling that a big part of it is familial and societal expectation, especially given how much his mother berates him for his life, despite the fact he didn’t even seem to want the hotel, as it was his father’s that was passed down (there was a line about him wanting to be a vet but ended up in a slaughterhouse as well; unsure if that’s metaphorical or what, but it does feel like it fits in that theme).
The end part I don’t quite get all of– the being trapped in the forrest section and growing a beard and all of that– but my not understanding doesn’t deter from being interested in the whole strange experience.
All in all, good! Really weird, but worth a watch!
Year: 2008
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex, Death, Domestic abuse, Violence against children
Summary: A cop from Copenhagen gets sent to a remote village after having a mental breakdown. He soon starts hearing about a local woman’s trouble with her abusive husband.
This movie starts off as a normal sort of mystery-thriller type of movie– which is fine! But I was expecting something a little more out there. However, if you stick around, you’ll find out there’s a lot more to everything going on.
The acting is really good and I think they set it up well to be in the moment as the main character while trying to figure everything out. In that same note, I feel they also position it well enough that when everything begins to get revealed, it makes sense.
The only part of this movie that didn’t make sense to me was the cop actually killing the wife; Not that he wouldn’t have done it; they make it very clear he’s been violent with his own ex wife, but the way in which it’s done feels kind of weird? I'm assuming plot-wise it’s to show his actual lack of care with the wife and more towards his own selfish gain, but in the story, it felt like a weird way to go about things (tldr: He walks into the house, past the blackout drunk husband, goes to have sex with the wife, the husband starts calling for her and shes moaning, because she won’t quiet down, he ends up suffocating her with a sheet/pillow accidentally. While the husband is yes, drunk, it feels weird that he just sits there the whole time even though it's obvious he's suspicious that something is going on, even in that state.).
Regardless, that small hiccup I can overlook because I think it really built good tension even after that. I thought the movie was going to be wrapepd up shortly after, especially with suspicion falling on the husband... But that was only the first act. The second act, which then follows the husband finding out that the cop killed his wife, keeps up the tension and in a way, adds to it even more. The ending was also different than I expected it to be wrapped up, and I really liked that.
Year: 2015
Rating: 7.5/ 10
Content Warnings: Blood/Gore/Death, D-slur (subtitles; unsure if every version), Suicide, Sexualization of minors, Misogyny
Summary: A girl seems to be stuck going through different realities in which those around her die in brutal ways.
I’ll be honest: The first part of this movie made me feel a bit “eh”. Coming off of Sion Sono’s other work (Why Don’t You Play In Hell?), I started to wonder if the works of his I did like in the past were just the exceptions. While this doesn’t come near my feelings for something like Antiporno, it’s definitely a lot better than Why Don’t You Play In Hell?
The reason why the beginning feels so eh to me is the fact that it felt like a schlocky movie of a certain genre, especially with all the panty shots of girls. Still weird, but I guess the narrative does give a reason why things felt so weird towards the all-women cast (especially with a male director).
Talking about the movie won’t make too much sense if I don’t give a (perhaps too long) plot run down:
The general jist of things is the following: We see a schoolbus full of all girls heading somewhere. Our protag, Mitsuko, leans down to get a pen at the exact time that a gust of wind ends up cutting the bus in half, killing everyone on it but her. The wind is sentient, and chases her, killing anyone who comes in contact with her. She changes her clothes by taking a dead girl’s shirt, and runs to find help.
She ends up at her own school where everyone is... Alive. The wind is still strong and she panics, but her friend Aki helps calm her down, along with 2 other girls. Aki comforts her and is in general incredibly caring towards her. They skip class and talk about alternate realities. Once they go back into school, everyone is mowed down by the teacher for skipping.
Mitsuko escapes and wanders into town, eventually being found by a police officer who recognizes her and calls her Keiko. She brings Mitsuko/Keiko to the station, showing her a mirror that shows she’s become a different person. They then go to a wedding hall and she finds out today is her wedding to a “handsome groom”. Aki is there and waits for her to change before she starts killing people there. Mitsuko/Keiko heads into the wedding hall where girls jeer at her as she walks down the isle to a groom who comes out of a coffin: a man with a pigs head. She kills him, the teachers from before show up and Mitsuko/Keiko runs off with Aki, who eventually tells her she’ll fend off the people coming for her.
As Mitsuko/Keiko is running, another girl tells her to follow her, as they’re in the middle of a marathon. This girl calls her Izumi, and she sees yet again her appearance has changed. Other girls join up with Mitsuko/Izumi and talk about their past together as marathon stars. During the race, she sees her friends from the start and begins to see that the teachers and pig-head man are chasing her. She’s lead down another path.
She ends up in a cave-like place, lead into a room full of creepy school-aged girls who inform her that so long as she lives, they’ll die.
Aki saves her and tells her they’re being observed by someone and will continue to be until Mitsuko does something to stop this cycle. Aki
tells her she must pull wires from her arms and kill her and she complies.
Mitsuko wakes up in a restaurant’s kitchen, stumbling out to find a place filled with men who are interested in “Tag”-- a 3D survival
horror-esque game where all 3 girls she lived as are the playable characters. She passes out and ends up in another cavernous place, finding
mannequins of herself lining the walls and eventually an old man, playing this game of ‘Tag’. She’s told this is the future and he is a boy
who had a crush on her, stealing her DNA and cloning her and her friends. He then brings out a younger version of himself and tries to get
Mitsuko to have sex with him, attempting to live out his last unfulfilled fantasy.
Mitsuko begins attacking this younger version and remembers she has to do something out of character to end this whole thing. She commits
suicide and wakes up in the first “life” again on the bus. She commits suicide there as well and the subsequent worlds until she wakes up in a
white, snow-covered field, finally stating it’s over.
With all that plot in mind, it’s kind of obvious it’s about the dehumanization and objectification of women. I did wonder if part of it was
about desensitization revolving around brutality against women (and even maybe a jab at otakuism), but it also does feel a bit ironic for a
movie like this. (My thought was because of Mitusko’s horror in seeing that all these lecherous-looking guys were playing a game where she
and her friends get brutalized and the ending scene of finding the guy playing a game of it and collecting “figures” of her in various
outfits that seem to do nothing but exist in his space.)
I did also see an analysis that positions this even more so as a movie discussing women’s rights, particularly in a societal sense towards
abortion and whatnot. To paraphrase, the idea that her DNA was forcibly cloned, to continue making generation after generation of women and
that it’s up to her to break this cycle (which is what the suicide represents).
In addition, another analysis that makes sense to me positions it as a sapphic metaphor due to Aki and Mitsuko’s relationship and how it seems they’re always being
pulled apart by the larger forces at play despite their chemistry (which, they do a really great job illustrating between all versions of
“Mitsuko.”)
As per usual, Sion Sono’s eye for film making is great. His use of shots and his ability to marry absurd concepts and even bad blood CGI with
bigger themes is shown well in this case. I also do really like how they switched out the lead actress for each character and before the big
reveal, it really did feel disorienting and I wasn’t sure where they were going to take the story, but it kept me interested. While I
hesitate to fully say it succeeds 100% in being a perfect feminist film, I do find the undercurrent of those themes interesting to think
and read about, especially with so many interpretations of it, all which I mentioned feel like they could easily work in tandem with each
other. I think the analysis makes up for some of the parts that feel gratuitous, but I don't think the gratuitous nature should be overlooked
either.
Year: 1975
Rating: 2.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Animal death (real?) , Death, Blood, Non-sexual nudity
Summary: A girl escapes war at a remote farmhouse
There’s a major glaring issue with this film: It’s quite boring. Thinking on the film and reading on it after, I get sort of what the
director was going for in the sense of exploring adolescene, innocence and gender. There are some very nice shots and you can feel a lot of things are done with purpose! ...
But it’s just kind of boring. By the 40 minute mark I felt exhausted and just was glad I had coffee on my desk so I could mitigate some of the
sleepiness that began creeping from this film.
I read during the later portion that the filmmaker was inspired by Alice in Wonderland– I can see that inspiration, especially as it was my
favorite book as a child! However, unlike that, there’s nothing really gripping to keep the viewer really intrigued in the film as a whole.
A lot just ends up feeling kind of repetitive or painfully slow. There are small moments of intrigue– namely, I did like the section with the
unicorn, but that was a rare exception.
Year: 2025
Rating: 2.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Animal death, Unsanitary scenes, Sexual assault/coercion, Death, Blood/Gore
Summary: A man wishes with a magical item that the girl he has had a crush on since high school liked him back, but he gets
more than he bargained for.
I have to admit: I hate when movies are hyped up by the public because it generally means I'll be let down. I heard sooooo much praise on this
from everywhere-- and I'm not even in film circles!!! I knew nothing going in despite that except it was some sort of horror movie about a
couple. I also watched the filmmaker's other movie, Milk & Serial which was... messy, but ok.
My verdict... It's kind of boring as hell. It's an incredibly tiring watch with... Very little I actually cared for. Let me say first what I
did like: the cool shots, especially one close to the start, of Nikki's face obscuring and twisting. Very cool cinematography! The silhouette
scenes too really are atmospheric! I also liked the scene with the crystal seller at the end, it did make me smile a little because it added
in something that didn't feel so one-note!
Now for what I didn't like... I honestly hated the main actors acting. I'm sorry it felt very low budget horror acting at times and genuinely
caused me to laugh at how ridiculous it was. If this WAS supposed to be a low budget horror I would've had more grace... And while 750,000$
isn't a huge budget by any means, I still think people have been able to capture more with a lot less (even throwing it back to earlier this
month, see both Death Powder and I-Be Area)
Even beyond that the plot was boring. A movie can be mediocre in every other facet than plot and still at least land in the 6+ range! But the
plot was so boring. The bulk of the story felt like it had such a lacking set up. I understand that part of the movie was the fact he lusted
over her instead of actually getting to understand her but like... It felt like even that wasn't properly explored and the horror of it. It's not
bad to have audiences fill in gaps but it felt like it left too much off to be engaging. For a character-driven movie, it felt incredibly
lackluster. The story was very by-the-book and you could know where it was exactly headed by the time the main guy, Bear, called the number
on the back.
Year: 1977
Rating: 5.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Death (incl. Parental death), Sex, Nudity, Infildelity, Attempted suicide/cutting, Sexual harassment,
Animal death (fake), Blood, Gore (eye trauma)
Summary: A woman moves into an apartment occupied with strange inhabitants. She ends up learning that things aren’t as they initially
seem as she begins having even stranger experiences with the residents.
Genuinely this is a case that I’m like... What do I even say about this movie? It goes from like a normal strange thriller to really just
strange and confusing.
The general plot is: A model’s (Allison) father dies, causing some old trauma to stir up. In addition, she doesn’t wanna marry her boyfriend
yet, moves into an old brownstone where notably an old, blind priest lives. As mentioned above, she meets strange residents and eventually
gets freaked out by them alongside becoming sick and fainting a lot. She sees a ghoul-like version of her father in the building and kills
him, freaking out. There’s a whole B-plot about her boyfriend being corrupt and things about him getting his ex-fiance killed– it doesn’t
matter so much to a quick summary but that’s a thing. TLDR; We find out the strange residents were all murderers who’ve long died.
Allison’s boyfriend does a lot of searching around and finds out that the church that the priest in her building was apart of has a history of
random non-church connected people having a rebirth after a suicide attempt where they’re suddenly becoming part of the church on the day the
former head dies. He tries to save Allison by keeping her away from her new apartment but they both end up there. He gets killed as he tries
to kill the priest there and we’re told of this whole plot of someone guards the building as there’s a entryway to hell in there. It becomes
a bit confusing but it all ends with Allison fulfilling that role as the next “sentinel”.
If that sounds confusing, it’s because it was. It wasn’t horrible, but I was like “... Huh?”. The tldr is no one is acting in Allison’s best
interest but it seems her scummy lawyer boyfriend actually was? #Win despite his actual crimes...? I don’t know. Hell, I don’t even really get
why the church acted the way it did either...? Like I don’t think the build up was terrible– perhaps a little slow in parts, but forgivable– but
then it was just kind of... ???
I did think it kept me on my feet because genuinely I don’t know what the hell was going on and only kind of made a bit of sense with the last
part. Perhaps the confusion was intentional but it made it a bit rocky at times to truly enjoy.
The filming was gorgeous though and the buildings they shot in were amazing. It had a real nice backing atmosphere and I think a lot of the
makeup/prosthetic work was really fun– the whole scene with Allison’s ghoul-dad was really interesting in terms of the special effects they
used.
Of course, there is something also to be said about their depiction in this movie of demons being... Lesbians and disabled people. I understand
70s sensitivities and society weren’t quite there yet, but it is a little glaring watching it in modern times...
In a weird way, the beginning kind of reminded me of the strangeness that something like Black Moon was going for. The movie as a whole is
kind of weird– in good ways and bad. It’s not a horrible watch and I don’t regret it, but I’m on the fence if it’s one I’d revisit and
reassess.
Year: 1963
Rating: 6.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Death, Blood (very fake)
Summary: A honeymooning couple breaks down and takes up residence at an old inn. They start being invited to see a count and
his children, unaware of their vampiric secret.
Somehow, when watching this movie, my copy was mislabeled which led to 10 minutes of me wondering why every subtitle I found wasn’t lining up.
Anyway, thank god for title cards because it’s what rectified things for me!
To the actual movie: It starts off pretty basic and you kind of get a sense of what you’re in for... But I think it does it well and the ride
takes you through some fun backroads! In particular, I really enjoyed the plot with the inn owners, I think it added an extra layer of story
to the whole thing that worked nicely with the whole of it. I also found it fun that it was a count and his children– though, I can’t really
say I get why they hyperfocused on getting the newlywed wife in the vampire coven...? They literally didn’t care about the husband until he kept
annoying them and that kind of made me laugh (Seemingly a whole town was in on gaslighting this poor man–). I also really enjoyed the
ending segment and how a bit over the top everything was– and by that I mean a magical swarm of vampire bats that killed off all the vampires,
which is... Something I’ve never seen before in a vampire movie but you know, I dig it. I like the rock-paper-scissors of it all
(vampire-human-bat...? Not as catchy I suppose...)
On the production side, I really liked the sets they used. They did a good job of making everything eye-catching and grand. The party scene
also stands out in direction and I really like the masks they used (except damn let the ladies wear the oni
masks!!!). I also did really enjoy the scene where the vampire son plays the piano– that song was very nice :)
I do have to say I am kind of confused by parts of it: Why did they have to induct the wife, Marianne, as a vampire...? Like wouldn’t it be
better to bite her and do the ceremony later? Especially when like... Who the hell would think that her husband would give up so easily...?
And why wasn’t he good enough anyway? It’s not like it was a gendered coven, there were a lot of guys in there! Did he have bad vibes or
something? I don’t know!
I wish I saw this movie more fluidly, but that’s no issue on the movie’s side. Still, it was enjoyable!!
Year: 2022
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Death, Animal death, Blood/Gore
Summary: A year after the death of her husband, a woman and her friend go to scale a radio tower in the desert.
I'll be honest: Natural survival horror and natural disaster horror are usually two types of movies I'm not chomping at the bit to watch, especially
if they're played fully straight. That being said, I am actually happily surprised because this movie, while not fully being my thing, was
still a lot better than I expected.
The movie did start off in a way that pissed me off though! Which is it kind of literally had the same setup as Apex (2026)- except one extra
person. That is to say, we start off with a couple who's rock climbing a gigantic mountain or whatever and the guy of the pair falls and dies.
It does make me wonder how often this happens and in general why anyone would do this (not a critique on the movie I just Do Not understand
putting yourself in this position happily and willingly. I am afraid of heights. Also the Apex comparison im not sure if this is like...
a genre convention or not? Doesn’t really matter but it’s interesting that it’s a similar set-up.)
Nearly a year later, the woman, Becky, is still distraught as hell and drinking away her sorrows. Her dad is trying his best to help her but
he also thought her husband was an asshole and she refuses his help. However, her friend who was there on the climb, Hunter, comes to her and
tells her she should come climb a radio tower with her and scatter her dead husband’s ashes on the top, since he loved climbing as well.
She’s understandably distraught over the idea of doing all that again, but agrees anyway. (Awful friend, might I add)
They get to the tower, it’s 2000 ft high, climb to the top aaaand then the ladder getting them down breaks. There’s no wifi, the drone they
brought crashed on a satellite below. Here kind of ends the most unenjoyable part and the movie slowly starts to become more interesting.
The pair of them try various things to get down, but none of that works. Vultures circle the area, they unsuccessfully try and get the
attention of others, no dice. The pair are stuck there and through this we learn that Hunter was having an affair with Becky’s husband via
Becky seeing a tattoo of the only way her husband would ever say I love you (143)– kind of cementing what her dad said of him being an
asshole, but also, damn that’s awkward to be stuck up there with that in mind.
They have a drone that fell and Hunter tries to retrieve it, along with a backpack. As shes being pulled back up, Hunter falls, but lands on
the backpack and Becky pulls her up. They end up trying to charge the drone but that also ends in failure. However, we find out that Becky
hallucinated Hunter living and now she’s stuck up there, alone, her friends body smashed up against the satellites on the tower. Becky climbs
down and in a very horrific but actually kind of unique scene, decides to send a message, stuff the phone in Becky’s ripped open flesh, and
push her off. The cops come and so does her dad.
Now! Like I said, the set-up is kind of the worse part here. The tension in the rest of the film is done really well and honestly, I’m happily
surprised and shocked they could make a movie this long and still entertaining about being stuck on top of a tower. The things that often
get marked as cliches (equipment failing, dream sequence, people not helping, hallucination) are done in a way that fits the story and
doesn’t feel like shoved in there cheaply.
I also want to give some additional credit to the making of this film! A film like this could so easily be done in a studio on greenscreen–
I mean, the actors spend most of this movie on a small platform. However, they opted for a much more involved production and I think it really
added to the uneasiness of heights. In short, they went to the Mojave Desert, built a tower that was ~100 feet up, and positioned it on a
mountain so they got those shots of them seeing a couple thousand feet up in the air. In addition, the main actors shot their own stunt scenes
despite being offered stunt doubles. When the main feeling of the film seems to be to invoke that fear associated with heights, I think it
achieved it really well! Also... It felt nice to watch a more modern movie that’s audio did not blow out my ears and I could hear the dialogue
still.
As I said, not really my type of film but if this is your genre, I do really recommend it. I think it’s best to get past the actual setup to
enjoy the film, though, as it’s the least interesting part of this journey.
Year: 2026
Rating: 5.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Blood, Gore, Death
Summary: After the events of the first movie wherein the protagonist, Grace, survives her in-law’s Satanic murder ritual,
she is swept up in another murder game where other families are vying for complete control over the Satanic cult
It was... Okay. I think agood portion of it was decent! It's definitely for people who are into death game movies overall (as the first one was).
I think my issue lies in the side plot between the sisters. I hate in movies when people can't hash things out at appropriate times like...
Let's say NOT in the middle of a open field when people with weapons are chasing you...? And they kept doing it! Like time and place girls!!
And the root of it was the dumbest shit too-- the younger sister is mad that the older one... got a scholarship and went to college. I can
understand it if someone is like, 14 and doesn't understand these things, but these are 2 ladies at least in their 20s living on their own in
New York city. You'd think there'd be some growing that happened between last seeing each other and then. Another thing that bothered me was
one of the first kills; The girls get a man in an industrial washer, put it to sanitize and then are like "we should stop it what about his
phone!!" Like... 1. It is not 2008 with a motorola that can survive. When they opened the tank, the guy's face was like melting. The phone is
not gonna fucking survive. 2. And do what? These guys have shown they control the world who the hell are you gonna call? Apparently their
answer was the police. ... Also, I swear to god they kept doing weird filters on some of the main actress' face because it kept just looking
Weird at times and not like her in other shots. I don't know how to phrase it other than it genuinely looked like they put a face filter on
and like... Guys she looks normal whats up with that
Aside from that type of stuff, everything else was fine! Overall plot beats, though you kind of know how these movies go, fine. Nothing so
out of the ordinary, nothing awful either. I personally wouldnt have given up power and I never get why they do in these movies. It seemed
like it didn't have to be goat sacrifice just some sort like damn maybe a fly would work too. Who knows! I'm reading too deep into it but
these types of movies always have a weird dance around religion. Okay the devil gets your soul... Then what? Are you immortal? Like what
happens when you die? I don't know! Weigh the options in this universe! Ask the source! I dunno man!!!!!
Year: 1999
Rating: 5.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Sexual references, Animal dissection, Misogyny
Summary: A boy named Cameron moves to a new school and falls in love with a girl named Bianca. However, she’s not allowed to
date until her sister, the unapproachable Kat, dates first. Cameron devises a plan to get Kat set up with a boy with a bad reputation,
Patrick.
*Beyond Clueless (2014) List
I’ve been wanting to watch movies that appear in cultural-dissection films that Elizabeth Sankey of Summer Camp fame (to me) has been involved
in, starting with Beyond Clueless (2014)-- and this is the first on that list. [I’ll do a little note for these...!]
It’s... Fine. It is very of a certain time and that has to be taken in consideration, but it does hinder some enjoyment when you’re thinking
“Why are you lecturing this girl about thinking she can do whatever she wants because she’s pretty– you wanted to date her upon seeing her,
how are you any better?” Genuinely I think the story between Kat/Patrick is more compelling than Cameron/Bianca in part due to that. Not
that Patrick doesn’t have his own nonsense, especially in the beginning! But I feel he actually exhibits growth which is nice. I also really
like the direction of the storyline with Kat and Bianca, it felt very real and understandable. Similar with their dad– though that did
make my skin crawl at the same time (The whole ‘teenagers aren’t treated as people’ discussion and such.).
The music was really good! I did begin to feel a bit of a loss of energy by the end, but overall it kept me interested. Not the worst,
but not something that's particularly for me.
Year: 2004
Rating: 6.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Mild sexual references
Summary: A girl has a disastrous 13th birthday party and as she makes a wish, she finds herself in the future, at her desired
age of 30.
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It’s a cute movie!! I really think the build up of characters is fun and natural and while you kind of know how it’ll go, it does a good job of making you enjoy the ride. The main couple you root for and it’s fun to see things work out. It’s full of fun music, it’s funny, it’s just sweet.
I really think they built up the sudden time-travel stuff well too and especially with that being the core of the first half, it needed to feel right. It's not like an
amazing movie, but it's cute and I still enjoyed it. :)
Year: 2002
Rating: 2.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex, Sexual harassment, Sexual assault, 2000s Misogyny/Homophobia
Summary: After being dumped by his girlfriend, a man vows to give up sex for lent. His efforts are interfered with because
his office bets on when he’ll falter.
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It’s a very of-it’s-time sex comedy. I have to say, especially in the beginning half of the movie, there’s some great cinematography with the camera shots. It’s not that
I think it lessens by the end of the movie, but it is less noticeable to me anyway.
I do think the end conflict is... Painfully of it’s time (tldr/cw sexual assault: the guys ex assaults him in his sleep and he technically looses the bet, and the girl
he’s now into is angry at him.) and it’s hard to root for their relationship because of that. It kills anything that’s built up for me and I just end up not liking the
love interest for this guy. When they inevitably patch things up I just feel like going, “Booooo!! Boooo!!!!”
I don’t know. It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve seen but I don’t think it’ll stand out much in my memory either.
Year: 2000
Rating: 2.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex, Nudity, Implied animal death, Domestic abuse, 2000s Misogyny/Homophobia/Fatphobia/Racism/Ableist,
Sexual harassment, Blood
Summary: A college boy hooks up with a girl in an elevator during a black out. The only thing he has to remember her by is
her underwear, which he uses to try and find her.
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I had to rewrite this review upon reflection. I think I either had some black mold attack my brain or it was so fried by 4D4N. My original
review wasn't glowing and the review is similar enough but I did say it felt strangely progressive. By this I meant that it was a hair better
than 4D4N. That being said apparently it did enlighten some horny guys back in the day-- more on that after this review.
Is it a good movie? No. The sole enjoyment comes from, like 4D4N, the really fun camera work at points and some of the stupid not-painfully-offensive
gags made me smile. Most of the rest of the movie is just very annoying nonsense that is a painful timepiece. In fact, it's kind of depressing seeing
the same incredibly gross rhetoric still alive and well today.
It's attempt at being progressive is still painfully shallow. The ending monologue is like "capitalism... communism... feminism... no more -isms...
Only humanism" and everyone claps and cheers in the women's study class. I wish I was joking I remember physically recoiling on the cringe of it.
Also the guy says he does the bare minimum and suddenly every girl wants him, but he ends up finding the girl he hooked up
with who he trashed on before knowing she was that girl. And I swear her stupid ass boyfriend is there just to make this lame ass guy look better.
I DID say it helped some horny guys earlier on though. Out of curiosity, I wanted to see people's thoughts on this-- specifically closer to when
it was released. IMDB now won't allow you to view reviews without a sign-in, so I decided to take some screenshots for the hall of fame and put them
here:
Year: 1988
Rating: 9.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Suicide, Missing persons mention, Death (parental, child), Animal injury (mentioned)
Summary: Summer vacation starts at a boarding school, leaving 3 boys behind to their own devices. Things become strange as a
new student arrives in this time who looks like their friend who disappeared.
I thought I’d like this, if for nothing else, the visuals... But wow! The story was stellar too!
The story was pumped full of intrigue... I really did not know what way it was going. I kind of expected this to be just a normal drama, but the
ending leaves a lot to be questioned. I really like the tension built up between the main characters, it felt very realistic and I felt
engaged in all their individual lives that led them to their current feelings.
It felt like a very somber and lonely fairytale, and the visual style really helped that. The ending part, where Kaoru/Yu asks Kazuhiko to take
his life to prove his love, really built up amazing tension. I was worried for both of them. I do wonder what the ending specifically means–
Is Kaoru/Yu/Whoever that is now trapped in a loop? Are they all trapped in this loop? I don’t know.
I really think the introduction of the technology, though it’s more of a feature, makes the movie have an even more surreal feeling. The whole
thing feels like the world exists in this sliver of time and space; this oversight-less Eden created by the four boys who reside there. They spend
their whole day with rules made by no one but themselves and while there's mention of outside forces, there’s absolutely no tangible trace
that anyone exists outside their purview. It adds another layer to the whole thing and really makes it feel more insular, more intimate
between them all. All they have is each other.
I wonder if the Demian (by Hesse) reference means more than I’m aware of because I’m not familiar with the story. There are scattered
references to it, but I know little about the work so I feel I’m missing something. (Same with I wonder why choose 1999? Because of feelings
about the encroaching millennium? I feel like there’s something there, but I’m missing it...)
All in all, really good, I really enjoyed it!
Year: 1995
Rating: 4.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Death/Blood/Gore, Sexual harassment, Pedophilia, Sex, Light nudity, Body horror
Summary: A girl named Misa transfers to a new school that’s at the center of strange cult activity. Misa, a witch, investigates
these strange phenomena, but finds herself being blamed for them as time goes on.
Similar to the last movie, this is based on a manga! And one I haven’t read, but...
Anyway, building on the summary above: Misa shows herself as a witch to her classmates to get back at their (one) pedophile teacher. He ends
up in a car crash and suddenly everyone is scared of her. Things reach a boiling point where 13 students, including Misa, are held back to do
a re-test and end up locked in the school. There’s one specific guy who hates Misa’s guts and thinks shes evil.
The film ends up feeling like you’d expect a live-action RPGMaker game to feel like, like Misao or Corpse Party– perhaps also because of the
setting and type of characters. I really do not like the one male love interest guy (Shindo), he pisses me off; Misa is better with that
girl who immediately welcomed her (Mizuki...?.)
The horror in it I think is genuinely well done. I wasn’t expecting the later scene where Mizono kills Shindo and then himself (sad, Mizono
had the best hair in the movie, even if he was a douche.). I actually did not fully expect Mizuki to be the evil witch in the school... The
beautiful toxic yuri of it all... At least they got to kiss! Mizuki reveals that it was all her doing and she wanted Lucifer’s powers. Of
course, this backfires on her. Misa ends up living, though everyone else dies and now I presume she has to relocate again.
Decent enough horror-y occult movie! The CGI is so campy and of it’s time too, and I did enjoy that. My big thing is I don’t really know if
we needed all the weird stuff with teenage girls in this movie though, especially the weird extended scenes of pedophilia at the start.
While I don’t know if I’d exactly revisit this movie just for fun, I am willing to see more of the movie series! (Editing Brie: Famous last words)
Year: 2025
Rating: 8.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Drugs, Violence, Flashing lights, Kidnapping
Summary: A young man gets kidnapped by a couple who plan to rehabilitate him from his drug-filled violent lifestyle
Great acting, it totally immersed me and kept me interested the whole time to see just where the story was headed. It kept a good pacing and
made me invested in all sides of this whole thing.
My big complaint with this movie is I feel it didn’t give enough to satisfy the backstory of the couple. We get throughout the film that there
was another boy there, seemingly also with issues, named Charlie. Charlie is only ever mentioned, fondly by their son and never around the
mother. It’s never really said what happened to Charlie or who he was to them. Was he another child they raised who turned out poorly? Is
that why they’re like this and doing all of that? Was he also someone they kidnapped? I feel there’s not enough to come to either conclusion
on that matter, but I think the former frames it better.
Genuinely I thought a major part of them showing him his uploaded videos– and at a point, what seemed to be hidden captured video, perhaps
from one of the parents– was positioning it that he bullied their child, possibly to drinking/drugs who died... But I’m not really sure if
that’s the case. There’s some evidence to support that, especially with a scene of how they react to their actual son being caught with
cigarettes and how they told their housekeeper that she couldn’t smoke.
There’s some strange and unexplained things, and I can’t tell if it was an unfinished thought, purely there for tension, or I’m missing
something. The housekeeper they employ I feel is the best example of this and I really wonder what thematically her role is. When she’s
being interviewed, she’s asked 3 questions: 1. Do you have kids 2. Any noticeable marks 3. Do you smoke? It’s revealed very quickly she
lies about not smoking, but the second question is more of interest. It made me feel like they were queuing up for something bad to happen
to her– but it overall feels like more of a red herring. Her exit from the story also is strange and I don’t really fully get what per se is
supposed to be taken from her referring to the men after her as her “family”, because it sure as hell isn’t literal.
Overall, the movie sets up the story well, carries it through at a good pace and leaving enough room to feel the tension and wonder what’ll
happen next, but leaves enough missing that kind of makes me wish they expounded even the slightest bit more.
Year: 1996
Rating: 2.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Death/Blood/Gore
Summary: A prequel to the first film, Misa learns about witchcraft and her connection to it through a terrifying series of
events.
This movie is kind of a drag. I think it does do some things right, like set up for why Misa acts more of the way she does in the first one
(spoiler for the first like 10 minutes of the movie: all of her friends die). I get her actions and genuinely it’s one of the times where I
think someone reacts well in a horror movie– I mean, if you were being chased by a weird man and got kidnapped by another one who refuses to
explain shit, you’d be running away from both of them too.
When the movie is action-packed, it is! But the dragging bits, it’s really hard to sit through and not start to feel bored. I ended up putting
it on 1.25x speed because those parts just got so tiresome and it made it feel more bearable. Perhaps it’s better suited for someone who’s
already familiar with the manga and more payoff there.
... Also what is with this series and younger girls with older people. At least in this one the guy doesn’t reciprocate as much but it’s still
weird he does at all.
Year: 2023
Rating: 5.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Mentions of sexual/physical violence towards children
Summary: A model attends the trial of a man who stands trial over streaming the death of 3 children in a red room type of
scenario.
A chilling premise with... Really not much payoff. Anyone who's watched a few YouTube videos on the subject is familiar enough with dark web
stuff and knows it's not as titillating as it’s made out to be. This movie at least tries to bridge that gap and make it plausible, so I can’t
fully fault it. Plus, I can give some grace because well, it’s a movie.
That out of the way: The movie does set itself up to be quite unnerving and I think it does a great job of keeping that tension without making
it gratuitous. We never really get a glimpse into anything graphic; hear some screams and machinery, see a far-away video, but nothing
actually graphic. In fact, ⅔ of the movie is spent outside the courtroom with model Kelly-Anne who is enthralled with the case for... Some reason
or another. The ending kind of makes it seem like this is all hacktivism, but it also feels like a fetish thing for her too, given she dresses
up as one of the victims more than once and breaks into the family’s house to take selfies... So I’m not really sure?
I don’t know. The acting and building of suspense in this movie is great, but I also kind of don’t get what it was per se going for. I do
understand it’s less about the case, more about this woman Kelly-Anne and building a narrative around her and someone like her but... It also
doesn’t feel like you really get to know her at all. Wouldn't watch it again, but it did leave me feeling a gutteral grossness for a while because of
the nature of the movie.
Year: 2004
Rating: 4.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Parental Death, Fatphobia, Racism, Bullying
Summary: A 2000s take on the classic Cinderella story.
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It’s... Fine. It’s not a particularly striking movie, but it is a cute modern take on Cinderella. It’s funny because a big point of the movie
revolves around bullying this girl for... Working in a diner her family owns...? Like... Haha your family has a constant stream of customers and
your mom bought you and your sisters all cars haha. Like... I don’t get it.... At a point you just have to accept there's a world in this movie
where everyone has a car unless they have crashed it. Maybe that world really was California in the early 00s as many movies would have you
believe.
The movie takes more of a “be who you are” take to the story, both with the prince and cinderella characters. It’s pretty much a Disney Channel
movie and it’s overall fine. It’s good enough for that, but nothing super great (It’s no High School Musical...). They did carry a cute theme of
a fairytale with even the football team, which the “prince” plays on being called the Frogs.
Fine enough, it dragged a little for me especially in the later half, but I don’t regret watching it. The ending is cute too.
Year: 1998
Rating: 7.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Pedophilia, Sexual references, Sexual Assault, Eating disorder mentions, Vomitting
Summary: In 1963, a girl named Odette is sent to an all-girls school in Connecticut as her parents fear her closeness to her boyfriend. She joins a
small student group called DAR– Daughters of the American Ravioli. However, the group begins fracturing as the school aims to merge with the local boy’s school
due to funding.
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This was so much better than expected. I’m not saying it’s a perfect movie, but it’s cute and it has a strong backing behind it on women’s education and by
extension, the rights of children. Which especially compared to other movies I’ve seen recently that fall in that romcom category of the 00s, it really has a lot of
substance.
I think the plot builds up nicely and while the first half is good, the ball really gets where it needs to be by the second and makes the finish worth the journey.
I really like the fleshing out of the girls (all of them by the end!). I also really like that while they were building up women’s education, they weren’t doing the
annoying thing where it’s just like “erm... men drool” without tackling more systemic issues– something that was thoroughly addressed (via sexual assault, the speech
on women’s lack of acknowledgement in scholarly settings, and even further, a nuance that it’s not a sole gender thing, it’s a people and systematic issue. ).
I also thought it did a good weaving of romantic threads and even sexuality threads without it overtaking the rest of the story in a balanced nature.
All in all, very cute, very sad this movie seems to be forgotten, as I never even heard of it before all of this.
Year: 2011
Rating: 4.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Nudity [1-3, 5], Sex [1-3], Drugging [1], Sexual Assault [1], Body Horror [1,3], Death [1-6], Blood [2-6], Infidelity [2-3, 6],
Suicide/Self-Harm[2], Domestic abuse [3], Eye horror [3,5], Motorcycle Accident [4], Animal death/dying (Fake) [4], Drugs [5]
Summary: A horror omnibus set in an old theatre, inspired by the plays of the Paris Grand Gugnol.
Since it's an anthology, I'll be reviewing each story individually!
Story 1: The Mother of all Toads:
A couple is in France on vacation(?). The guy is into esoteric stuff and they both meet a woman who says she has a necronomicon at a market. He agrees to meet up with her, but his girlfriend
scoffs at him and goes to the spa instead. The witch drugs him and ultimately takes advantage of him. Girlfriend sees this and runs into the woods where frogs chase her, and she’s ultimately
attacked by some sort of frog-monster. Guy wakes up the next day to frog-witch in bed, but she appears normal to him. He leaves but gets lost, winding up back at the witch’s cottage and freaks
out because he sees her monstrous hands. He winds up dead after finding his girlfriend’s body.
I think a toad-witch is a cool idea but it’s not really a gripping story overall. There’s too much left unsaid storywise for it to be super interesting. The couple annoys me also, especially the
girl (she does not give one shit about his interests-). Least they made the toad-witch creepy at points and textually it was gross. 3.5/10
Story 2: I Love You
A man wakes up with a cut on his hand and his partner leaving him, saying she’s been staying with family, refusing to explain why she wants to leave. She finally tells him that he’s been too
possessive of her. Despite this, they have sex, though the wife feels unfulfilled with it and says she’s still leaving. She then tells her husband that she’s been having sex behind his back for
the last few years and is leaving him for a new lover, not wanting to tell him due to his history of self harm. He finds out she’s been with his friend as well. The husband starts having visions
of his friend and wife dead in his apartment and kills himself.
Though the acting in this segment is considerably bad and the later jump is jarring, so much so that I kind of assumed it’d be a groundhogs day situation or not real. Overall, it has more story
cohesion than the last but it’s not stellar. Genuinely some of the fun is because of the bad Tommy Wiseau-esque acting.. 4.0/10
Story 3: Wet Dreams
A man keeps having dreams of his dick getting chopped off. It ends up being sort of like a dream within a dream within a dream sort of thing, but he’s either attracted to or cheating with his
therapist’s wife and seems to be abusing his actual wife. His wife teams up with the therapist to actually castrate her husband.
A lot better than the previous segments. Much better acting and the story felt complete and cohesive. Even though dream-in-dream stories aren’t usually for me, I felt it did it pretty decently.
5.0/10.
Story 4: The Accident
A mother and daughter witness a motorcycle accident. The daughter later asks in bed all kinds of questions about it and death.
It’s fine for what it is but I don’t think it fits cohesively in the rest of the stories. It’s more sad-ruminating drama and it does not fit as the puppet guy starts monologuing and laughing
trying to be creepy right after it. The story itself is... Fine. Well acted, well shot, but I don’t think it fits well in this compilation of stories (I’m not sure if they were trying to actually
harken to a Grand Guignol-esque production and put something between the horror, but tonally it still felt off.) 4.0/10.
Story 5: Vision Stains
A woman finds a drug addict and through her own weird concoction, is able to see her memories as she kills them, writing them down. She becomes a biographer of these women. She ends up taking DNA
from a pregnant woman’s stomach, thinking that she’ll find some meaning to life. She then is terrorized by the visions she experiences until she gouges out her eye.
Storywise I think it starts off with an interesting premise. Lots and lots of eye horror in this one and its kind of hard to look at for a while. I think it does drag a bit and gets a little pretentious with the “no
experience is original idiot” type of dialogue at the end part. Still, I think it’s a unique concept at least. 4.0/10.
Story 6: Sweets
A girl breaks up with a guy all while the audience is shown scenes of her gourging him on food. It ends with a cult of people like this who make him their meal.
REALLY good looks and aesthetic for this one. You have a lot of cool and unique makeup choices. However, I feel the cut from them breaking up to the feast is annoyingly rapid and makes it feel off.
It’s also textually bad, which good for them for capturing that, but it’s not my thing. 4.0/10.
The whole thing wraps around with the main puppet guy turning human and turning the girl who came into the theater into a doll, something that is shown slowly between the film segments. It’s fine,
but none of the in-between dialogue was really interesting. The actual aesthetic was nice and I think the costuming of the doll/puppet people was cool! But otherwise... Eh. 4.0/10.
Year: 1997
Rating: 3.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Body Horror, Blood/Gore, Death, Sexual Assault, Incest
Summary: In this installment, Misa gets wrapped up in an all-female drama club. In the back, there’s something happening with dead bodies and
spells.
Man... What... I mean I get vaguely what was going on but it felt so unfocused and boring that it didn’t hold my attention... Which is saying a lot, because it was
pretty gay at points too. Like the first movie in this series, I could see this being a cool RPGMaker game, but it just did not work in its current state. I really
do not get the whole beginning part and how that tied in. The homunculus thing was weird, but it was a little interesting when not being completely
confusing.
The version I watched was kind of mediocre quality despite it supposedly being a 4k restoration... Which I think is kind of laughable unless the original quality
was this bad. There were so many points where it was so dark I couldn’t even get a good look at people’s faces, unable to really fall into who was who and what
the hell was really going on. I don’t think that it would’ve made the film a hell of a lot better, but maybe more parseable.
Also I really thought her uncle would've played a bigger role in... Any sort of thing? Like it felt like a weird thing to have him in the first half then nothing.
Again, everything in the beginning would have more bearing on the story but I guess not??? At all, really.
Year: 1991
Rating: 6.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex, Nudity, Mention of sexual assault, Flashing lights
Summary: A story revolving around a courtesan, her lover, and a man who wishes to sleep with her for a bet.
This movie is kind of hard to follow. There’s a throughline of what feels like two stories: The one we see, involving a man who has a bet going to sleep with one of
the top courtesans of a region, wagering a villa if he wins and his manhood if he loses. The other is a narrated story about a man who leads a hedonistic lifestyle.
From what I can tell, by the guy who aims to sleep with the courtesan actually made the bet with the hedonistic man.
The story itself isn’t the most exhilarating thing, but man, the art in this is divine. Absolutely beautiful, every frame stands well on it’s own. I don’t think
this is a movie you should go into for the story, but rather just the artistry of the experience.The movie leans into a more sensual nature than being straight up
porn (there's very little nudity beyond breasts) and in it, the whole experience feels quite opulent and dream-like with overlaying visuals at time.
I do wonder if this is a case similar to the Tale of Genji; By that I mean the fact that there’s a source text that offers a lot more context to this whole thing
that’s missing in favor of a more artsy animated approach.
Year: 2006
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Homophobia, Gun violence, Racism, Slurs(Homophobic, Anti-Black, Anti-Semitic), Sex, Nazism, Defication, Kidnapping, Death, Nudity, Misogyny
Summary: Based on the real story of the kidnapping and murder of Nicholas Markowitz. A teenage boy is kidnapped by men his brother owes money to and
held for ransom.
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I have an innate aversion to movies based on real, recently happened events, especially when someone dies and they have still-living family who are grieving.
This movie was released only 6 years after the event took place. I think knowing how
the victim’s family feels really is important when going into these movies because ultimately, they have the say if something is tasteful or not. The parents
originally protested the film, but both showed up to the premier seemed to have thought that at the very least, their son was portrayed well.
That all being said, the movie feels very jarring at times. It’s a result of the 2000s and a certain culture that was especially prevalent then, so I’m not per se
knocking the film for that, but it did make it hard to get into. The story itself is very high tension and it highlights the absolute needlessness of the whole thing.
A movie that I didn’t expect to get into at all did win me over to be invested by the end-- something that you knew was coming, but it didn't make it easier to
stomach. (The actor who played the kid really did an amazing performance, especially in that last segment. Very heartbreaking.)
The director did seem to stick very closely to what happened in the case, even consulting with the DA (though, names and small details seem to have been changed.)
Overall, I do personally think the whole thing was handled with at least care towards the victim and the family, and really did not do a disservice to the case.
While not a movie that’s per se the type of thing I’d be running to watch, it did keep me invested and I am glad I gave it a chance past the initial rocky start.
Year: 1999
Rating: 8.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Sexual references, Pedophilia, Homophobia/Homophobic slurs, Animal death, Infidelity, Light nudity, Blood, Gun violence, Death,
Child abuse
Summary: The life of a dysfunctional family living in the suburbs.
*Beyond Clueless (2014) List
Another one I didn’t expect to like as much as I did. I’ve heard of this movie for a while but now I see why it’s known. It was really, really good.
All descriptions of this movie focus on the father– which I get, because we see a lot of it from his perspective and it starts off primarily with him. However, I’d
really say it’s more about the family as a whole. We have the father, Lester, who’s in a miserable job that he knows is planning to fire him, he feels distant from
his wife and daughter and feels no joy in his life. His wife, Carolyn, is a real estate agent who’s struggling to sell houses and feels underappreciated in her life.
Then we have Jane, their teenage daughter who feels disconnected from both of her parents and the world at large.
Lester begins fantasizing about Jane’s friend, Angela, a girl who's aiming to be a model. He eventually gets fired and blackmails his boss, trying to find some verve
in life again. Carolyn socializes with Buddy, a rival real estate agent, while Lester meets Ricky, who is the son of the family who just moved next door to them.
Buddy and Carolyn begin having an affair as Carolyn and Lester are now seemingly sexually incompatible with each other. Jane starts off freaked out by Ricky,
especially as Angela doesn't like him either, but the two begin bonding. Ricky comes from a family where the mother is checked out and the father is an abusive,
homophobic ex-military man.
That’s the general gist of at least 75% of the plot. The whole thing just is drenched in loneliness and a hollow existence, everyone pretending to live a different
life, lest they be outcasted. It leads to a profound sense of distance between each character, unable to truly get close because then the facade is over.
This theme is incredibly visible throughout the movie– Carolyn making Lester fake being a perfect couple at the social gathering; Ricky giving his father a false
piss test; Angela faking being with so many guys and more mature than she actually is; Ricky’s father being homophobic when he ends up kissing Lester, and
subsequently shooting him. I think an interesting parallel to all of this is a gay couple in the neighborhood, who are open and proud of who they are and seem to be
living a fairly normal life. Are we supposed to infer they probably have strained inner lives? I don’t know. I'd like to view their inclusion almost as a defiance against
the rest of the movie in some way-- people who are open about who they are, especially in this time period. I do think there is something to be said still about their own
conformity to certain standards. They're both characters who are shown only a handful of times, but they add enough to evoke questioning their role, which I think is fun.
There’s a lot to unpack within all of that and a plethora for each main character to study, and they all end up feeling incredibly fleshed out. Angela is one of the
most interesting characters to me and I find her characterization in particular fascinating. We start off with her introducing scenes being her talking up all the
men she sleeps with and how since the age of 12, men have been staring at her. Of course, this is unsettling, but especially with the later reveal, it says a lot
about her character. She, like everyone else, is putting on airs to seem like she’s fitting into this narrow box others see her in. Similarly, it does really feel
like a way to cope– speaking as someone who understands the experience of being a teenage girl– with the amount of harassment and trauma that gets thrust upon a
girl for existing.
There is the undercurrent to of societal happiness vs personal happiness, tying into everyone living this fake life. We start off with Lester, who outwardly is
successful in the American Nuclear family way– he has a wife, child, and a high-paying job in the suburbs. However, the last bit of the story, where he talks about
what flashes before his eyes, underlines this. He’s not thinking about the money he’s made, his job, his house– he thinks about being a kid, nature, his family.
While it’s a simple message of what’s important in life, I think it does a good job of illustrating it.
Year: 2002
Rating: 7.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Racism, Pregnancy, Sexual mentions, Suicidal ideation/Suicide Attempts, Pedophilia, Mentions of beastiality/animal harm,
Homophobia, Incest, Infidelity, Miscarriage
Summary: A teenage girl yearns to see her incarcerated father. Right before a prison picnic, she ends up pregnant.
*Beyond Clueless (2014) List
** Also released as Confessions of an American Girl in 2005.
Another welcome surprise!! Really great acting, a really good well-rounding of the characters!
To expand on the summary: A constantly-suicidal teenager named Rena has a shitty boyfriend who refuses to acknowledge he's dating her, but uses her for sex. She
ends up pregnant. At the same time, a prison picnic is coming up at her father’s prison. She hasn’t seen him since she was little, and begs her mom to see him.
Her mom, brother and half-sister are all reluctant, but end up going to it. They tell Rena not to mention the baby to the father.
The movie slowly unravels all these key points about the character. Rena’s mother is tied up between her feelings of resentment and remembering the passion she
once shared with her husband. Her brother is closeted and hates his father, especially as his father is serving two life sentences due to killing gay men in a hate
crime. Her half-sister has been visiting the prison to have conjugal visits with the father. Rena only remembers the best of her father, but it slowly shifts as the
pregnancy is revealed and she begins seeing his violent and aggressive side.
I think the storytelling is really well done and they feed you vital information about the characters at key moments. One of my favorite scenes is between Rena and
her brother as Rena tries to kill herself after she loses the baby in an altercation between her father and the guards. Her brother finds her and comforts her.
Genuinely it’s so well acted and sweet, you could forget it’s just a movie. That’s honestly how the whole thing feels! Down to earth, naturalistic, very human.
The only thing that I don’t really know how I feel about is the half-sister being embarrassed for being caught with her step-father and made to get on all fours and
oink lest another inmate tell her mother. The girl isn’t a nice person, but she’s in her early 20s/late teens at best, and context kind of sounds like he was her
father figure. I don’t know if they really treat that with as much severity as how she was essentially groomed. She’s never outcasted from the family for it, even
as her brother finds out and promises to not tell– however, I don’t really get why she had to be embarrassed like that.
I really love the ending of it, both from Rena finally snapping and the whole family deciding to leave. It’s very fulfilling and just works really well.
Year: 1998
Rating: 7.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex, Nudity, Nazism, Death, Gun violence, Murder, Racism (+ Racial slurs/Racial violence), Sexual assault
Summary: The story of a boy who idolizes his skinhead brother who has recenlty been released on parole after killing a man.
*Beyond Clueless (2014) List
In a way, I was surprised to see this movie on the list– One that started off with bad sex comedies. It’s been in the cultural zeitgeist my whole life but I never
watched it or knew what it was. On second thought, it does make sense why it’s on the list, for being another slice of specific Americana. A horrible slice of it,
but I still think it’s important to ruminate on the fact it exists.
In a very strange way, I can compare it to something like 100 Girls. Which I realize that alone sounds insane, but I mean it in the way that both are timestamps in which
the rhetoric of the main characters has seeped back into public conversation. Just as a lot of the gender-essentialist rhetoric in 100 Girls has been cropping up in online spaces via manosphere types,
the rise of neo-nazism also is somehting that has come back. Granted, I'd argue neither of these issues ever went away, but the prevelance feels more in-your-face
than it has been in a few years.
The points our main character Derek makes you can so easily find in a blank algorithmn within a few minutes. While the people spouting this nonsense aren't as
visibly outwardly racist as he (i.e., not having swatiska-clad rooms and a swatstika on their chest), the same talking points are being said. Perhaps this gap
between inception and the time I'm watching it, a movie that is as old as I am, adds to the chilling nature of still the world dealing with this shit. And it's not
just the overt racism like you hear from the main characters, it's the insidious nature of how this all takes root, via a flashback with the father.
To set up for those who haven't seen this movie: Derek becomes a neo-nazi after his father dies from being shot by a Black man while putting out a fire. However,
much later in the movie, we get a flashback highlighting that it wasn't a sole incident that suddenly made him go so extreme. It's obvious Derek seemed to idolize his
father (similar in a way that his younger brother now idolizes him). He gets home from school and happily tells his family about his professor who he really likes,
a Black man named Dr. Sweeney. His father then talks down on Dr. Sweeney and his accomplisments, pretty much doing a proto-anti-DEI like speech and saying shit like
"why are they teaching Black books in school?". This whole scene I think is one of the most pivitol points in the movie, as it really shows how all of this trickled
down. I also think the mother's lack of doing any correcting to her husband's horrible rhetoric is a subtle but interesting point as well-- as she's considered more
progressive in the story, even to her husband.
The main crux of the movie is the fact of racism being taught rather than inherant, which to anyone seems very... "Yeah no shit". But I think the story does it
in a way that makes it still compelling, even if it's an incredibly hard watch. It sets up everything really well and it's quite uncomfortable, but in a way they
were intending. The idolization and wanting to feel loved by people you look up to-- in this case, parents and siblings-- overshadowing any independant thought
and pushback to harmful ideas.
Quite obviously, the movie does a great job of showing how much of a loser lifestyle this is too, with one of the big scenes of set up is him and his gang harassing
people in a public park over basketball or even the start where his brother thinks it's funny to harass a teacher with his nazi beliefs.
Hard to watch, definitely not one I’d revisit because it’s way too intense, but not one I regret watching. Sadly still a very timely movie, even nearly 30 years on.
Year: 2015
Rating: 2.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Vehicular accidents, Death, Animal death
Summary: A woman who's immortal falls in love with a man who she meets at a New Years Party right before planning to move.
It took everything in my bones to write that summary impartially. That man straight up stalks her.
Let me quickly set the stage: Adaline is a is a lady born in 1908 who due to some freak near-death accident is immortal. Her husband dies building the Golden Gate Bridge
and she has a daughter. We can ignore the husband. Daughter shows up in brief snippets. Fastforward to the 2010s! She is about to get a new name and move for the zillionth
time lest someone realize she's immortal. Nothing wrong with this set up! You can go so many places with this!
But then her cringey ass rich love interest shows up.
He follows her to an elevator just to talk to her which first red flag. Also he's being weird as hell about it both trying to impress her and downplay his smarts (which really
reads as "the filmmakers arent well read enough to talk about these things so we're just gonna obscure them". They were wrong about many facts like unlockable trunks
in the 40s and the drive-in so I'm not really surprised.). Shes like, "k not interested" and leaves. He then in essence stalks her and browbeats her into going on 2
different dates with him all while being annoying and
cringey. He also downplays coming from wealth, saying he got all his money from selling a startup-- WRONG. His parents are mega-rich too. This discrepancy is never addressed.
Anyway, even her own daughter kind of pushes her into it despite being also single and saying she's too old for marriage. Girl, your mother is like 107 shut the fuck up.
There's a VERY uneeded plot point where Adaline's dog dies and shes sad for all of 2 minutes until Mr. Cringe shows up and is like "omggg I got ur address from work :)"
and shes obviously like, "what the fuck is wrong with you?" But they still go on a date! There's no real grieving this dog who she loved so much that she saw was having
issues and despite being super rich herself didn't do shit about until it was passed out on the floor. 10-whatever and still stupid as hell.
Long story short he introduces her to his family because their 40th wedding anniversary is coming up. I guess they stay there for... A long ass time before that? Genuinely
not clear on why they do or how far out the parents are. Doesn't matter; The actual juicy bit (read: Best part to make fun of) starts finally. The dad sees her and is like
"Oh shit ur the woman I fell in love with after being together 5 weeks". Shes like "aha nooo that's my mom :)". For some reason she sticks around instead of backing out
realizing she's had the father-son combo. The rest of the movie is part extrapolation on their relationship-- she stood him up, he named a comet after her despite saying
hes soooo in love with his current wife and is like visibly pining over her. She ends up being like "I cant do this!!" Runs off. Gets hit by a car. Gets the good ol'
defib treatment and now shes starting to age again and they can live happily ever after!
Oh and at the celebration party, the father calls his wife "The mate of my life" -- EUGH.
Honestly there are a million things I could pick on this movie for. Why mention her husband dying building the Golden Gate Bridge if we're never going to bring it up again
despite having so many shots of the bridge? She somehow is more torn up about some guy she knew for 5 weeks in the 60s vs her husband with whom she
had a child with?? Also she says she moves every 10 years but she's just staying in the San Fran area this whole time...? Like girl, even if you move up north and
come back within 10 years, there'll definitely be people who recognize you!! Hell, you by chance met the guy you were boning 40 years ago and his
creeper son , you don't think there's more instances of that???
Absolutely abysmal. The best part was making fun of it because at a point it was so ridiculous, you couldn't not laugh. It was painfully predictable and god the
leads had ZERO chemistry. It was definitely a movie meant to tug at your heart strings but it just made me groan. 2 is a generous score that I'm giving it for the
sole purpose of I had fun laughing at it.
3:28pm .... // 08.01.2026
Black Moon
Obsession
The Sentinel
Kiss of the Vampire
Fall
Ready or Not 2: Here I Come
10 Things I Hate About You
13 Going on 30
40 Days and 40 Nights
100 Girls
Summer Vacation 1999
Eko Eko Azarak: Wizard of Darkness
Good Boy / Heel
Eko Eko Azarak II: Birth of a Wizard
Les Chambres Rouges
A Cinderella Story
All I Wanna Do!
The Theatre Bizarre
Eko Eko Azarak III: Misa the Dark Angel
The Sensualist
Alpha Dog
American Beauty
American Girl
American History X
Age of Adaline