Year: 2023
Rating: 2.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Suicide/Death mentions, Jumpscares, NASTY water
Summary: A couple wins a cheap auction of their dream house.
Now, I can’t say I was let down by this movie because I expected it to be bad going in– that’s why I watched it! When it was good-bad, it was good, but when it wasn’t, it was boring, which is usually the case with bad movies. Acting was bad, music had some really jarring moments of not fitting at all, the bulk of the story was... Well...
The big plot thing seems to be some insane get-rich-quick scheme by the mayor of all people in the end: Offer up a house at auction for a “low” price for a house, but you have to pay in cash and abide by several rules so you can’t leave, the people die or break the rules and rinse and repeat. Honestly? I don’t think writing that out that it’s a bad plot! However, this is the book-ends of the movie and the meat of the story is another thing entirely.
Perhaps this movie would’ve done better with any ounce more care put into it. The general concept as described above isn’t anything special, but it’s also done really poorly. The main couple is as dumb as rocks and can’t tell their s/o apart from a ghostly, red/black makeup on half their face and distorted voice version of them and this leads to many conflicts that were so poorly done. On top of this, a tub keeps filling up with dirty water and they barely seemed bothered by it.
There’s also a plot point about a pillow containing money but genuinely I do not understand for the life of me what this has to do with anything else in the movie because it’s not even really... Acted upon in a tangible way.
The movie's not good but if you skip through it you'll probably be able to pick up the plot and enjoy some scenes of very bad acting and stupidity.
Year: 2021
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex w/out genital depiction, Light nudity (breasts), Mentions of coercion, Attempted assault, Mentions of suicide/death
Summary: Two teenagers engage in a casual intimate relationship, leading to both of them slowly becoming unhappier.
Somehow I thought this was gonna be a sapphic movie, but it is not and I don’t know what I mixed it up with (not Blue, I’ve seen that).
The story concerns Sato, a girl who has a crush on an upperclassman named Misaki, who pushes her to give him oral, but has no serious intentions with her. Sato then begins a physical relationship with Isobe, a friendless boy who asked her out a year ago, saying it won’t go any further than the physical. Feelings get messy as Sato still crushes on Misaki as she toys around with Isobe, who still has genuine feelings for her.
I do think the general characters of Sato and Isobe are interesting. Sato is an emotionally messy girl, meanwhile Isobe is depressed from the death of his brother. In general, I can see them both as real people who messily go through life. Sato bugs me a lot, but I can’t say she’s an unrealistic person. I feel bad for Isobe, who continually thinks about suicide, but he’s no saint either with his own emotional volaltility, especially as he feels more conflicted with his relationship with Sato, given that she doesn’t feel the same.
I don’t know why the movie got such a low rating on places like IMDB, but apparently, the original manga captures the feelings and emotions better. I was pretty invested the whole time and I’m really glad they didn’t wrap it up with Isobe and Sato getting together, but Isobe saying they’re better off as friends, even though Sato confesses she finally felt the same. I don’t really get the last segment of the movie though because Sato complained about her town and the sea then like 5 mins later is like, “Yeah I love the sea!:)”-- But that’s a very small critique in the whole thing.
Year: 1972
Rating: 7.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Death/Gore/Blood.Violence, Missing persons mentions, Cannibalism, Animal death (fake, noises are heard and fake bodies are shown), Attempted assault
Summary: People suddenly vanish at a specific subway station, leading to an investigation once a prominent British political figure goes missing as well.
A film about the perils of allowing railways to be privatized.
I say that (half) jokingly, but this film actually is interesting in it’s place in history and it’s version of cannibalism. The film slightly pre-dates the cannibal horror boom– a type of horror I usually don’t care for, especially due to the often present nature of racism, especially concerning movies of the 1970s and 80s. In fact, this movie even pre-dates Texas Chainsaw Massacre by a couple of years as well. However, this film does a unique take on the whole thing, and comes at it from a strangely more humanistic aspect.
We get the backstory of how things ended up this way: While building the railway in the late 1800s, a group of male and female workers building a new line were trapped by a cave-in. However, this occurred right as the overseeing company went bankrupt, and thus no one went to save them. The people resorted to cannibalism as people died, and eventually began to build a small society in the caved-in tunnel.
We learn that all in the first third of the movie, alongside meeting a couple who report seeing an OBE (A high-ranking title) who the woman of the pair, Patricia, believes needs help. However, when investigating, there’s no one there. This then launches a higher investigation given the man’s status and we quickly learn he’s not the only one who’s gone missing, but he is the only one who’s not a working-class person. The film goes between the investigation, hassling the couple about their involvement, and seeing the underground where the cannibals are. After seeing mangled bodies, we see one cannibal caring for another sickly one who seems on death’s door. Eventually, the sick cannibal dies and the other lays them to rest. We also find out that the main cannibal has been popping up, taking people down to his lair and using them as food.
The film is a metaphor on the treatment of the working class in general and how society is so quick to view them as disposable. In particular, the humanization of the cannibal society in this is interesting to me, especially compared to other films. They really do build it up to make it feel like survival rather than just pure torture– especially illuminated by interactions between the two cannibals and even later on, when Patricia is caught and the cannibal hesitates on hurting her when she cries. It’s a quite literal take on the cannibalisation of the middle class as well; We even see this in the way the main couple are talked down to by others for being “idealistic youngsters”.
Now... How is the movie itself? It’s fine. I think there are definitely areas where it drags, but it still does get across it’s point decently well. I think some things maybe should’ve been edited better, but I didn’t hate it, especially ruminating on what the director was going for. Personally, I don’t think things like in the later part, Patricia nearly being assaulted was really necessary to the whole story; Especially when you consider once her boyfriend comes to save her, she stops him from killing him when they get into a fight.
Year: 2025
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings: (Adult) Incest between cousins, Mentions of pedophilia, Mentions of beastiality, Infidelity
Summary: Having no male heirs, the younger Davenport sister has to marry her cousin to retain the family home. However, this plot gets thrown out of the window as she runs away and leaves her older sister Rose with the duty, all while she plans to marry a servant for love.
Fackham Hall is a lot of slapstick comedy– which is good, because I do enjoy a good slapstick comedy! It really holds a steady pace and doesn't leave a lot of “blank space” in between jokes– which is overall good, but sometimes you feel as if you need to keep up better (or at least I did when I was like “Am I missing something here?”). I think it does a good job of even if you don’t find a joke particularly funny, theres another one usually just 20 seconds away.
The plot is a pretty standard plot, but I feel the stylization and the acting help it stand on its own. It’s an enjoyable watch!
Year: 1993
Rating: 6.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Blood/Gore/Death
Summary: An army of vampires takes down a town. A group of teenagers come back from a concert to experience the devastation and blood-thirsty monsters themselves and fight to survive, guided by a vampire slayer.
This is a low, loooow budget movie– so much so, the crew apparently sold blood to finance it. It feels like a passion project and a really fun movie to have made, and I think that makes up for the shortcomings in both plot and technical aspects. Is it a great movie? No, but it’s fun.
The music is made by the writer/director/producer, Mr. Jonker himself, and it really fits the movie well in a grungy, fun way. I also think the blood/gore sfx is fun even though it’s not really realistic (still gross, which, fine by me. I don’t need it to be realistic to go “eww”). It’s a fun and silly ride.
Year: 1971
Rating: 2.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex, Nudity, Murder/Blood, Very cheesy gore, Sexual assault
Summary: Two girls get lost in the French countryside and find a castle full of vampires.
I genuinely cannot tell you if I’ve seen this movie before this watch or not. At a point, some 70s horror-erotica tends to blend together for me because it’s usually very pretty in terms of shooting with little else holding it up.
Genre typical: Very boring passionless lesbian sex, some of the worst hetero sex, incredibly beautiful scenery/cinematography! There’s very little plot here and what bit of it is just kind of boring.
I’d say it’s probably a little more NSFW-focused than other similar movies I’ve seen of this genre and time, so I guess if you’re into that check it out. Otherwise, it’s really not worth a watch.
One thing I will give it too is I like all the random severed(?) arms laying around in the walls and holding things.
Year: 1970
Rating: 4.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Blood/Gore/Death, Eyehorror
Summary: A string of women show up dead later in the night after being participants for a magician named Montag.
I saw this movie like a year ago, but I was in such a bad mood I didn’t really take any of it in, and it feels like a new watch altogether.
It’s a pretty gory movie, but is kind of funny with a lot of it, but there are some parts that genuinely make me go “yuck” (eyehorror scene, despite being very much so a mannequin). It gets very goofy, especially when the main actor is very clearly a younger man trying to play a much older man. I’ve seen some stuff about people not liking his acting, but no one’s acting is really stellar either, so his doesn’t stand out as being outright awful either.
The plot on a base level is interesting but a lot of the execution is goofy– I’m thinking of a later scene where the police sit in on the show to see if they get followed. The police didn’t anticipate there being two volunteers and loudly discuss this all while the show is going on in a very quiet room. Similarly related to the filming, scenes are also kind of jarring at times for transitions and whatnot.
There’s some talk about the spectacle of gore said by Montag himself and I think it could’ve been a more interesting commentary on that, especially the way the spectacle is what people clamor over and the parallels between what happens on stage and the actual murders and how they're being put on the press right after they happen as their own spectacle. However, I think the movie ends up being a bit too goofy for a lot of that theming to come together well, so it still sits as more of a goofy splatterfilm.
The ending part is so stupid, it almost makes me think the whole thing is supposed to be a joke, but I also don’t really know if that’s the intended case. However, it made me stop and laugh a little at its absurdity.
Year: 1971
Rating: 5.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Blood, Death, Sexual assault mentions
Summary: A woman starts having visions of a mysterious woman who turns out to be a vampiric countess.
Another movie that’s technically a re-watch but I don’t feel as though I was adequately present the first time to feel one way or the other.
Out of the 70s erotic horror I’ve seen so far, this is definitely on the better end. It has a more cohesive plot than most, though it still feels in some ways it trips over itself. I also feel the scenes of passion between the two female leads, Linda and Nadine, feel much more organic and they have a lot more natural chemistry. In general, the storyline whenever they were on screen was really interesting and appealing... Much less so when any guys were there, especially Linda’s boyfriend or the doctors.
The film has beautiful cinematography and that alongside the score really helps it feel quite dream-like and pretty.
Like a lot of these types of films, it does have a decent amount of dragging that isn’t really needed, but in the same breath, it’s a lot better than some of its contemporaries at reeling the viewer back in.
Year: 2024
Rating: 8.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Gore/Blood/Death, Very brief nudity
Summary: A young girl named Abbie aims to take on her father’s legacy of capturing murder on-screen and making it into movies.
I really expected this to be a movie more in line with Clown in A Cornfield, not per se bad, but not so memorable either. I am really glad to say that this movie really was enjoyable and while riffing on genre staples, it really stood on it’s own two feet.
I do love a good parody movie, but specifically, parody movies done with a lot of heart. This is exactly that. It really was well done in every aspect of it. The plot was really fun and always kept me interested and the characters were endearing and I was really invested to see where everything landed up. I was very happily surprised to see a lesbian angle to the movie, and one that felt like it wasn’t the directors either A. Acting out a fetish (TOO many sexplotation movies recently) B. Shoehorning it in as a talking point. It felt really natural and fun but it also fit well into the overall story. I also think the side characters were really well done and I enjoyed every single one of them (Rip to them–... )
I think it did a good job mixing horror nonsense in a way too, like Abbie’s father always coming back to life, so much so that there’s a tally on his headstone. I also really liked the bit of introspection they did into the lives of the “civilians” too– how many people they’ve seen die and the effects of that, all while generally keeping up a steady and fun tone.
I didn’t know if it’d stick the landing, but I think it did. I really like the unknown nature of– is Abbie’s dad still actually alive? Is she just now fully taking on his role? Her love interest, Sam, is the final girl but now are they locked in this state of killer and final girl? Or is Sam only interested in killing her father? I don’t know, I think every angle of it is interesting regardless of where you want to imagine it goes next, and I appreciate that.
The only thing I’d maybe critique is the music. I think the songs themselves were enjoyable– some I even wanna seek out on my own– but I did feel as though they kind of took me out of the time and place of the moment; A lot of them felt very distinctly modern when the film is seemingly set in the 80s-90s. It’s not the biggest thing, but it did kill a little immersion to me.
Year: 1982
Rating: 5.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Blood/Death, Nudity, Implied sex
Summary: Two medics come across a racecar driver who has a mysterious vehicle-related death. One of the medics becomes increasingly concerned after his co-worker begins driving for the manufacturer.
Vampire car! Vampire cars!
This is my 2nd time watching it, for the same reason as Wizard of Gore and Vampyros Lesbos– I don’t feel like I adequately watched it the first time.
The plot’s concept is just really fun and unique in my opinion and it’s worth watching for the absurdity mixed with the serious tone the movie takes to this whole thing. It’s really cheesy solely based on the weird plot, but there is also fun to be had and it does keep you interested, though occasionally it’s a bit hard to follow. The best thing to do is to just go along with the ride and enjoy it for what it is and try not to get overwhelmed thinking about much else besides “car that runs on blood”.
Also, the car designs are really cool in this, specifically the Ferat car itself..
Year: 1974
Rating: 0.0 / 10* * DNF
Content Warnings: Sex/Nudity, Kidnapping, Implied incest(?), Light violence, Dead bodies (Real; While the bodies are considerably decayed, it’s still there. ), Racism, Scenes of being sexually inappropriate towards children – There are probably more things here, but I don’t really wanna finish the movie
Summary: A film with 2 main narratives: A beauty queen from Canada who ends up in a disastrous marriage with a rich man, and a Communist woman who helps steer a ship with Karl Marx’s visage on the bow.
**PLEASE NOTE: This review will go into some detail about talking about real dead bodies and pedophilia. Please skip if either of these topics would upset you.
I always feel like these type of films can be viewed in two lenses: A more cynical one and a more artsy one. Sometimes it’s hard not to be cynical in these cases, especially given the source material. I don’t tend to like to be cynical about art films in general, especially when theyre attempting to say something, but sometimes... Movies like this just feel like they’re trying to be outrageous and edgy above all else.
Let me start with where I first got the ick–... I felt there was some very weird things in this movie, particularly towards Black people and how they made the first 2 (writing as such, because of the DNF nature of this movie) appear. (CW: Racism) The first is a woman from the Congo with a banana skirt, and the other is a jacked man who then goes on to monologue about being a specimen and being on display and just... I don’t know, the whole thing felt weird.
The second part that gave me the ick and what made me start to feel detached from the direction of the movie is (CW: Mentions of real death) the inclusion of real life exhumation footage. Namely: why that was a thing, sandwiched between sexual acts and a musical number. I tried to wrack my brain on its inclusion because it feels quite... Weird all things considering. I understand there was something to be said about communism (and by extension, consumerism as well)... But it really did feel weird. Was it supposed to be jarring? Maybe. But it didn’t come across well to me.
Now, for the thing that made me decide, “Alright, enough. I don’t need to finish this”: (CW: Pedophilia) I really did not feel comfortable with a scene that started playing out with 4 real life children and an adult woman. Like it wasn’t people who were probably 18 playing kids... They looked to be 8-9 and just the filming and the actions gave me a visceral disgust that made me not want to continue watching.
While the movie was visually interesting and had some things to say, I really do not think even if I continued it, I would be giving it above a 5. I understand the general jist of themes to be had but it reminded me a lot of trying Jodorowsky’s work– it’s really not for me and I feel it comes across as more shock than anything. In the parts I saw, which were described as a black-comedy, I didn’t even think anything was vaguely comedic... So I don’t even think I was the target audience for that.
I think actress Carole Laure who played Miss Canada in the film was the smartest one here and quit production before it ended.
Year: 1982
Rating: 6.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Light nudity, Blood/gore/death, Animal death (very fake)
Summary: In an attempt to get back at a sorority housemother for trying to thwart their attempts to have a party, 6 girls end up taking a prank too far, with deadly consequences on the way.
For a slasher, it’s not bad! I think the set up makes it more enjoyable than it’s contemporaries; It feels like a real motive for the slashing that takes place vs senseless violence. I really like the layer that the girls weren’t some random innocents who just wanted premarital sex and instead were partaking in criminal acts. I also really enjoy the different morals portrayed; People who think they’ve done no wrong, people who want to get help but instead go with group think, ect.
I also really gotta say, the most horrifying part of the movie isn’t any of the killings, it was the scene where they made the housemother go down into the pool. It just felt so uncomfortable and uneasy, it was really hard to watch. It also made the immediate fallout from it and the party more unnerving and really set up good suspense.
For me, I think part of my issue is I got interrupted a number of times, and it made me loose the flow somewhat, so this is a movie I’d like to revisit at some point because the weird psychedelic ending felt kind of underwhelming and didn’t fit, but it could be a point of view thing too. Overall, not bad, I’ll keep it to revisit it later.
Year: 1973
Rating: 4.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex/Nudity, Desecration of burials, Domestic violence, Death
Summary: A couple becomes lost in a never-ending cemetery
Second Jean Rollin Film I watched this month, the first being Requiem for a Vampire.
One thing I can’t fault Jean Rollin for is the beauty of his movies. Truly, the scenes in this movie are incredibly gorgeous and there’s absolutely no critiques there. He captures a dream-like atmosphere so well and every shot is like its own individual piece of artwork.
... However, that’s really the only big thing I can say about this too. While this movie is certainly more entertaining than the last one of his I watched, it’s still just kind of boring. First part of the plot is the couple meeting and arriving at the cemetery, then it’s them wandering around and being lost, finally it’s the girl going insane.
One thing I will give credit to storyline wise is I'm glad that girl killed that guy he sucked ass. She was losing the plot, but that guy pissed me off with how he treated her.
Year: 1979
Rating: 6.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Sex/Nudity, Death/Blood, Sexual assault
Summary: A runaway thief hides out in a remote chateau, only to be met with the strange maids who are hiding something.
Another Jean Rollin...! I have to say, I was kind of happy with this one! Not only was it gorgeous to look at, but it actually kept me entertained past that!
I feel like I sound as if I’m being sarcastic, but genuinely, I did also enjoy the story and felt myself pulled into wanting to know what was really going on with the maids. I had a good guess– there’s a scene in the beginning and it kind of gives it all away– but still, I was happy with how it played out!
I really hope going forward into his filmography, there are more works that build upon this and perhaps even do better. I feel like the mix of eroticism and horror worked out too in comparison to his other 2 films I’ve seen. I might even watch this one again at some point.
Year: 2025
Rating: 2.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Kidnapping, Death/Suicide/Blood/Violence
Summary: A woman goes to a remote ice fishing spot to honor her late husband. Her plans soon change when she discovers a kidnapped woman at a nearby cabin.
This movie is bad. So bad. Ohhh my god. Absolutely abysmal and it’s insane they got some decent-named actors in this bunch. The plot is stupid at best, dogshit at worst. I know people complain “well you have to suspend belief! It’s a story! How else would there be a movie?” And while I do understand that in a lot of cases– I’ll try not to be hung up on period inaccurate devices and I try to give grace to dumb choices made by characters unless I’m feeling incredibly haterific– there are some cases where I genuinely do think there’s a limit. This movie reaches that limit and then some.
Before I get into the weeds of things, let me talk about the filming. The scenery is quite gorgeous! I’m not quite sure why they had to go to both Finland and Germany to capture Minnesota, but whatever (I just find it more funny than anything). You know what’s not interesting filming? Long, veerrry long drawn out scenes of nothing. Why we spent what was probably 3 minutes but felt like 20 on the main character getting a bullet out, or all the long, drawn out backstory scenes which really did not add much except to say– “Hey, did you know her husband died? Hey, it’s been 20 minutes, did you know she had a husband? Did you know she wanted children? Did you know she had a husband? Did you know he's now dead?” It’s not like it all added much to the film anyway. Genuinely you could’ve replaced it with she was going to spread a goldfish’s ashes and it would’ve had the same impact.
Now I’ll get into the plot of it all. I’m gonna tell it chronologically, because as I mentioned, there’s a lot of needless flashbacks. Main lady Barb’s husband is dead and she decided to trekk out to the middle of nowhere to spread his ashes. Why? Well, she learned from her husband’s will that he wanted his ashes spread here because they took a photo there and ice fished. Kind of insane her husband and her seemingly were together a long time and they never discussed this and it was almost a surprise to her.
Anyway, she goes out there and on her way, asks a guy in a cabin where’s the lake. Again, if the lake was special enough to spread his ashes at, how the hell does she not know...? Well, she should have GPS– No... For a movie set in what I presume to be current day, she also has a track phone from 2005 still. I could forgive it if not for everything else, but this also comes up later.
She gets on the lake, starts fishing and hears a gunshot. She goes to hide behind her truck, sees a girl running from the cabin man and is like “holy shit”. Cabin man grabs the girl, drags her back to the cabin. Barb realizes she has no signal, and her truck, which is on an incline, won’t get out of the snow. I’m no car expert, but I do know about snow and trucks; Generally, if you were heading out to a snowy, especially remote, area, you’d probably put some rock salt or cat litter in your truck bed. Or hell, you could even try and push it a little and see if it moves! ... This lady for some reason was so ill-prepared except for fishing gear and a fishing shack.
Barb then goes to the cabin and investigates outside. She sees a piece of wood covering a window, pries it off and lo and behold, she can see the kidnapped girl. She gets the bright idea of taking like 2 minutes to write out something to the tune of “I won’t leave you, promise”-- the promise is the part that got me because like... Why do you need to spend time writing a whole sentence? Anyway, she covers it up with a board, not wiping it off, and runs away.
This is later discovered by the Cabin Man’s wife, who’s dying and needs a liver transplant, which she aims to get from the girl. At this point, I do have to say– the cabin man and his wife are referred to as Camo Jacket and Purple Lady. I think it’s easier to say Cabin man and his sick wife. We find out she’s why the girl was kidnapped and she finds Barb’s glove and freaks the hell out.
Barb sets up a trap that ends up making Cabin Man fall into ice while she tries to free the kidnapped girl. She doesn’t do a whole lot and spends most of the time flooding the cabin and wetting anything cabin man can use to get dry because he’ll have hypothermia. She ends up fleeing and getting shot. She uses the car radio to call for help and Cabin Man finds her, but she convinces him to go to the nearest town– apparently 2 hrs away– go get the police and then go get medical help. He gets intercepted by his wife and they fight, genuinely idk what happens to him but I’ll guess he dies.
Barb ends up blowing up her car for help (????) which is more insane because... You’re in the middle of nowhere and you’re blowing up your car on the lake... But it works. Some guys find her but they’re suspicious of her and demand she give them her gun. At this point I’m thinking, “Oh, they’re in on this, aren’t they? This is too convenient, AND they want her gun?”... Nope! They drive her to the cabin as she requests, locking her gun in the glovebox (who locks their glovebox...?). The wife’s car is there and the guys get out and go try and talk to her, she kills them, Barb gets knocked out, and wakes up chained up with the girl.
Now, here you’d think she’d wake up and immediately start to work on freeing them both. Nope! She starts going on about how she likes the girl’s name and how she wanted to name her child that if it was a girl and then some long-winded story that goes on probably another 5 minutes about a snowstorm (I do understand it was supposed to be a story about resilience... But girl you are fucking chained up and not even trying to escape at this point, FOCUS!!!!). She does eventually try and free them but ultimately fails. The wife drags them both to a medical tent set up on the lake (she’s been claiming it’ll be a DNA-free crime scene as if there’s not the whole ass cabin they keep running around). This is thwarted, Barb ends up dragging the sick wife to her demise and kills herself, plunging them both into the freezing lake THE END.
Usually I try not to talk about the whole plot in a movie but god damn this was so fucking stupid. My god. At times I started to laugh because I was just so blown away by how bad it was.
The only saving grace of this movie is the filming location was quite beautiful and it wasn’t outright offensive.
... Oh, and the lead actress sounded more like Marge Simpson than a Minnesotan.
Year: 1974
Rating: 3.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Nudity/Sex, Blood, Death
Summary: A caravanning couple comes across two vampiric lovers who were shot to death and haunt a rural estate.
I’ll come out with it: It’s boring. Absolutely beautiful set but I tried watching this twice and I just kept feeling bored by the whole thing. It’s overall really forgettable and there’s not even much to talk about. The hetero couple in the movie felt kind of shoehorned in, and it almost would’ve been better to focus on the two vampire lovers and the guy they did kill and the one they played with. Also, as per usual of this genre and time, the erotica between the two women was quite awkward and didn’t really feel passionate in the slightest, making even those elements quite dull.
Year: 2013
Rating: 6.0 / 10
Content Warnings: General food gross out [1], Gore/Blood/Death/Murder[1-3],Pedophilia/Grooming[2], Kidnapping[3], Implied sexual assault [3]
Summary: Hong Kong horror anthology featuring 3 different stories based on the writings of Lillian Lee.
Since this is an anthology, I’ll go through each story.
After being fired from a series of jobs, a man takes to stealing funerary urns and blackmailing the families in order to get money. One person who comes to collect the urn claims to be the cousin of the deceased, but ends up being the ghost of the man. The deceased turns the money handed over into funerary money, which leads the man to burn them, catching himself on fire. The story kind of drags in parts, but the concept is interesting. The urns talking is a bit too cheesy for the overall mood of the rest of the story and took me out. There’s also a B-plot in this one that I didn’t realize was solely for this one until the next segment came up. It doesn’t really add anything except showing the guy’s been surrounded by ghosts... I guess? Probably a 3.5/10.
The second story revolves around a retiring psychic who’s last client is a pregnant woman being haunted by a ghost who has something to do with the sea. He ends up enlisting his neighbor, a woman who sells crystals, into helping him solve the case. The short story of it is that the ghost haunting the woman was a swim student under her husband who he was grooming and got pregnant. The psychic and the crystal seller solve the case as the girl shows up in the apartment and tries to kill her and her unborn child. She’s able to move on with their help. There’s also a sub plot of the psychic’s son, a piano player, returning from Prague and it’s more of a minor thing but it has a cute ending where the son reveals he can see ghosts too. Overall, it was decent! I do wish they went harder on the husband of the pregnant woman for being absolute trash, but aside from that, I was invested the whole time at least. 6.5/10.
The last story involves a villain-hitter– a type of sorcery that involves cursing one’s enemies via a ceremony by symbolically beating them with a show. The villain-hitter’s last customer of the night is a young girl who asks to curse 3 men and one woman. It’s revealed she’s a spirit, and the 3 men she wants to curse are her kidnappers– one of which is the villain hitter’s son– and herself for witnessing the crime and ignoring it. I was also really into this one! I thought in general learning about the practice was cool and I actually didn’t guess the twist of this one too early, especially with the son. I was kind of confused when the son first was revealed because I was like “who is this and why does the villain-hitter have his number...”. But I thought it was a unique twist on a revenge story and kept me interested throughout! 6.5/10!
Year: 2013
Rating: 3.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Sexual Assault [1], Threat of suicide/self harm [1], Violence/Death/Blood/Gore[1,3], Sex[1], Attempted coercion [3], False rape accusation [3], Cannibalism [3]
Summary: The second part of a Hong Kong horror anthology featuring 3 different stories based on the writings of Lillian Lee.
Like the previous installment of this series, I’ll review each story on their own.
The first story revolves around a woman whose boyfriend disappears after an argument revolving around him giving money to his ex. Unable to sleep, she buys a new pillow in an attempt to help, but it turns out to be cursed. I don’t really care much for this one, especially since I feel the mood of the story is really... Off? I genuinely don’t know if we’re supposed to feel sympathy for the main woman up until the reveal (that she accidentally killed her boyfriend and covered up the body, putting him in a vacuum-sealed bag in her closet)... Because I certainly don't, she annoyed me. I also don’t really get the first ghost encounter because it really does feel like sexual assault but I kind of get the feeling the viewer isn’t supposed to feel it is...? I don’t know how to elaborate on it. I think the base story is interesting but it just kind of left me more annoyed than anything. I also don’t get why she seems to have genuine amnesia in the beginning when it doesn’t seem like a trauma blackout in the flashback of events (the next day she went to burn funerary money and keeps her apartment ice cold...?). It just didn’t come together co-hesively, especially at the end when his ghost was finally trying to protect her from the fake ghost of him. Nothing wrong with the filming or the acting, I just think the plot was too messy to be enjoyable and it dragged on for longer than it needed to. 3.0/10.
In the 2nd story, a bunch of teenagers (and a younger sister of one) go to revisit their old primary school before it gets demolished. Despite being warned by a janitor not to stay past dark, the kids decide to stay and play a hide-and-seek style game. I think it has a fun set up but the ending is really underwhelming to me. In general, the flashforward part doesn’t do a whole lot except mislead the viewer... In a way that doesn’t line up. If they’ve all died a week ago, how come the mother talks to the guy like he’s there/has been there? I don’t really understand the logic behind it. I think there’s a lot of fun with this one, though it does kind of drag towards the end as well. One thing I really liked is it felt like a RPGMaker game in a way; The school at night, children manifesting from the painting– I thought those elements were really fun. I did like the ending detail of the painting changing as well. Probably a 5/10.
Third and final story! It’s mainly a man walking around the city and the various people and ghosts he meets, intertwined with a young prostitute who he eventually bumps into. It all comes to a head when she tries to coerce him into having sex, he refuses, forces him to pay, but he has no money. It ends with the man killing her and the pimp, who he called the cops on before. I was curious where it would go and while it was unexpected, it kind of felt gratuitous and overtly weird about sex workers. Also, hearing the Wilhelm scream randomly during a more tense scene really took me out of it, alongside as the guy eats the bodies, his eyes glow this really unnatural and tacky green shade. Lovely filming, but there’s not really much interesting here. 3/10.
Year: 1977
Rating: 2.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Nudity [Non-sexual], Talks about infidelity
Summary: A rich woman talks to two people about her marriage
This movie is great for people who have trouble sleeping because holy shit I could not focus on it. I started watching this a while back and then thought, “Well, maybe I’m not in the headspace for this”, so I paused 30 or so minutes in and planned to revisit it. Turns out, it was not me, the movie just slogs.
The movie is very one note, just a woman describing her depressing marriage to a rich man in a villa and talking about wanting to go to another villa. She talks about her affairs, his affairs, their children briefly. It’d probably be more interesting if it all didn’t feel so monotone, like a school lecture rather than something for entertainment purposes. It’s both saved and hindered by the musical choice– a very lovely flute(?) song that while it’s lively, also is quite soothing and does not help the quite understated nature.
I can say this: It has very lovely cinematography, and the 1 song they use is not annoying in the slightest and quite enjoyable! ... Which seems to be an unpopular opinion as I've found out LOL.
Year: 2025
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Blood/Death/Murder, Political extremism, Suicide
Summary: At a party for parents Ellen and Paul’s 25th anniversary, their son, Josh, introduces his new girlfriend, Liz. Liz ends up being a former student of Ellen’s, who she conflicted with due to her extremist political stances. As Liz entrenches herself deeper into the family and gets a book deal, the whole world begins falling apart around them.
Political films that are fiction aren’t usually high on my list of movies. I don’t blame the films themselves for this, it’s more or less a burnout from a constant nightmare from being alive. Don’t get me wrong– I think political films are important and I do think this one was good! My score isn’t necessarily because I didn’t like it, it’s more or less “would I revisit this on my own?” Probably not. However, it’d revisit it if someone else wanted to watch it just fine.
The film has a bit of a rough beginning while figuring everything out. My one big critique is the sheer vagueness of a lot of the stuff said in the film. I understand why they went this route, but I was like “sooo was she a far-right extremist then...?” Eventually we get a slightly better picture of the world Liz has painted and as far as I can tell, it’s essentially this: An almost non-political political take of a one-party centrist system; Sort of a lay down and let everything be as it is and not think too deeply about positive changes for the system. This of course opens up the door for facism, which does happen later in the movie.
While this is primarily a political film, it’s also a family dissection as well. I think it’s done particularly well; Hell, I’ve known someone reminiscent of Josh and every time he was on screen it made me feel deeply uncomfortable and annoyed in such a specific and personal way. Same with Liz and her attempts to weave herself into the family, despite them all feeling something was off about her. The family dynamic– the parents, the 5 children and their loved ones– painted such an interesting dynamic. I really think the story between the family and the world around them was really nicely integrated.
My biggest gripe is its weird evasion of certain story elements, namely as I stated before being more clear about ideology and a latter scene where Liz is begging Ellen to help her which is never really explained. I also think the end part where the parents recreate the painting which they met at could've been done differently; I think it would've made more sense for them to do this... not right after seeing their missing daughter and another one of their daughters explode herself.
It was enjoyable and kept my interest the whole time! For a political film, it’s not leaning too into doomerism and manages to weave active resistance in while not making it feel corny as well.
Year: 2012
Rating: 3.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Kidnapping[0/Overarching story], Home invasion[1], Blood/Violence/Gore/Death, Implied child death[1,4], Burning to death [1], Eye trauma [3], Light pedophilia [0/Overarching story]
Summary: A South Korean horror anthology. A kidnapped girl has to tell a man several scary stories so he can sleep.
Another anthology! Except this time, there is a connecting story to it.
The set up story is the following: A girl is kidnapped by a mute man and he asks her to tell him scary stories. His reason is it’s the only way he’s able to fall asleep– that or the taste of blood.
First story! After being dropped off by their teacher at an English Institute, 2 siblings wait at home for their mother to return. Honestly, it ended up just kind of feeling long-winded in a bad way. I think the initial set up with the horror of a home invasion is enough, especially being someone who’s helpless like a child. There was a lot of needless dream sequence type of stuff going on that didn’t add to it and just felt like it was to extend the time. Honestly the core that was “real” was scarier than the supernatural type of elements, and those cheapened the underlying story. 2.5/10.
2nd story! A convicted murderer/kidnapper whose killed several women in their 20s is being transported via plane... After his last victim was an air hostess. Naturally, the guy kills everyone whos trying to escort him and another air hostess, leaving the surving one to fight for her life. Honestly, this one just feels kind of boring and doesn’t do enough to build up actual tension or much of a reason to have an interest in it. 2.0/10; It doesn’t do anything heinous but it’s boring as hell.
Third story! A Cinderlla-esque story. A man is gearing up to marry his 6th wife. He looks incredibly young for his age. The step-sister of his betrothed is jealous and tries to get plastic surgery to look like her sister so she can take her place. Most of it is a long drawn out dream sequence which is really annoying. In reality, the guy ends up marrying the step-sister and sending kimchi to the family. The sister freaks out on the step mother and shows it to her, eyeballs falling from the package and she tears out her own eyes. Of course the man set to marry is using this as his way to stay young forever. I think it could’ve been done in a much more interesting way and I hate the massive amount of dream sequence nonsense. 3.0/10.
Fourth story: It’s a zombie one! A bunch of survivors are holed up in an ambulance, including a mother and a child. It seems as though the child could’ve been bitten, but tests are showing negative. The mother gets caught as she reaches for a vaccine and the doctor on board wants to throw her out, but the nurse wants to wait. The doctor kicks everyone out of the car using force as they fight about what to do. The nurse shoots the doctor, but everyone rushes back in as a hoard shows up and attacks the car. The doctor ends up dying in this scuffle. This leads to a further back and forth between the mom and the nurse, and eventually, everyone dies or it’s implied becomes a zombie (though the girl was actually NOT bitten, up until the end). It’s definitely better than the rest (though still has a very unnecessary dream sequence) but it still feels like something that needed a bit of work. It had really good tension going on for it, which worked nicely. 4.5/10.
To the overarching story: It ends up being morning and the guy starts cooking like yeah no shit you’re not going to be sleepy if you're awake enough to start cooking. Idiot. Anyway, they eat, she complains she wants to go to the bathroom to look special for her kidnapper and he makes a move all while it's implied he's a grown man. During the last story, the guy fell asleep, and the girl tries to escape, but he wakes up hearing her phone. The guy then starts talking about HIS scary stories and kills the girl. While the general idea is fine at the beginning it felt almost more comedic with how ridiculous it was but there was nothing to actually imply any of this was supposed to be comedy so uh... probably give that part a 3.0/10.
I really did think about giving it up during the 2nd story and maybe I should’ve...
Year: 2018
Rating: 2.5 / 10
Content Warnings: Death/Blood/Gore, Forced surgery [2], Body horror [2], Pedophilia mentions [3], Sex without nudity [3], Child death [3], Suicide [3]
Summary: An anthology of 5 stories taking place in a movie theater, led by a mysterious figure called the Projectionist.
I’ve had slightly better luck with Shudder, but not enough so that seeing that logo pop up didn’t make me second guess. Hell, it’s the scariest thing I’ve seen all month!
As per past anthologies, I’ll take each on their own.
First one was about a serial killer chasing a woman after killing a bunch of people. The big twist here is the killer was trying to stop a further outbreak of some creature who had infected everyone. It felt very uneven and just didn’t work for me overall. 2/10.
Second was about a woman who wants to get plastic surgery. Her boyfriend says it’s okay either way, his mom has work done and she’s beautiful. Lo and behold, she gets body-horror esque modifications. I do think some of the special effects are decent, but honestly, it feels too tropey and boring to make it stand out. 2/10.
Third is a story about a demon possessing children at a catholic school. This one... Is even more derrivitive. Literally anything you can think of that would be a trope in this one is in it. There’s a pedophilia line and I don’t know if we’re not supposed to take it for fact or what but it really feels like one of those “epic atheist PWNS catholic church” type of things if we’re not. Incredibly bland to the point I could not begin to care. 1.5/10.
Fourth story: A woman waits for an appointment with her kids and slowly begins to loose her grip on reality. Think the idea is interesting but again, it’s not super gripping. Also, there’s some CGI that looks... really bad at the end. I do like the black and white filming, I think it adds to the mood they were trying to go for. 3/10.
Last story: A piano prodigy and his parents get attacked by a stranger after his recital. His parents are killed, but he ends up in the hospital and starts being able to see ghosts. His mother calls for him to come with her to the otherside, but a new friend he makes there tries to convince him to stay. The girl ends up killed, and the stranger who attacked the boy comes looking for him. This movie is easily the best of the bunch. I felt for the main character and wanted him to succeed and was interested the whole time. I kind of knew where this was going once they showed the stranger show up at the hospital the first time, but honestly, I don’t mind it because at least the story was interesting enough to keep me watching. 4.5/10.
Now, there’s not much for the overarching story. It’s literally just some guy who shows people their personal horrors, and there’s not a lot of rhyme or reason why beyond he’s collecting reels of it. There’s not even much to rate it off of, so I’ll withhold.
Now, one thing is a constant in all of these segments that I’ve failed to mention: The acting is sooooo baaaddd. Even the last story, the hardest part was the acting was so bad it kept taking me out of the serious parts. The kid in that story probably was the best actor in the thing but overall it was painfully bad– and that’s me saying it! I have no eye for these things! But wow... Insanely bad acting, on top of most of these stories being complete duds.
Year: 2025
Rating: 7.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Death/Blood/Gore, Animal Death [Fake], Animal harm [Fake], Unsanitary scenes
Summary: A horror retelling of the 1923 novel, Bambi, a Life in the Woods.
Let's be real: You know what you're in for when you sit down to watch a movie like this. There's no way you don't have low expectations and your finger on the button to stop it.
However, this is genuinely surprising! I have never watched the Disney Bambi nor read the novel, but I think I know the gist of it well enough. It's something I'd call "Schlocker's Delight"-- You know you're going in for something bad, but you're kind of happily surprised that it meets your expectations. The general "[Childhodo thing] but EVIL" in general doesn't appeal to me, but for free? ... Relatively free? Sure, yeah, I'll check it out.
Genuinely there was a cohesive story and it was entertaining the whole wya through! The guts and gore was the level you'd expect, and so was the CGI... But you know, I respect bad CGI, especially for things revolving around animals who get hurt. It was overall satisfying but the ending did make me sad... Which is a feat making me feel for a CGI deer and a CGI radioactive deer-.
Year: 2021
Rating: 6.0 / 10
Content Warnings: Death/Blood/Gore, Child death
Summary: After their mother develops dementia, her two daughters bring her back to their childhood family home in order to help her regain her memories. However, as the mother spots a Humpty Dumpty doll she used to own, things start to fall apart.
Watching this after Bambi was kind of funny because whereas Bambi was a straight up horror slasher, this was more of a slowburn psychological film... And then Humpty Dumpty is evil. This one wasn't bad either and despite how it looks, the acting Was overall pretty decent. It had a few facing issues in the start and I the whole reason for the ritual I don't fully get (Did the mother have a miscarrage for real or did she sacrifice her baby and then adopt a child?). Similarly, I don't think the fact the mother never told her daughter she was adopted is insane and that gets glossed over way too easily because like... That's important to tell your kid??
Anyway, it did a good job of building suspense and making things feel disoriented by the end.
11:53pm .... // 03.31.2026