Ah~ I stopped playing games for the day. As much as I wasd enjoying myself, I don't want to go through things fast or possibly worse-- get burnt out. I'm going to be taking a reprieve and working on stuff I need to...! I'm enjoying myself, and now I get where the 2nd(?) BlazBlue Calamity Trigger manga was coming from-- Though, I liked the first better actually. That being said, it's fine in this forum! I'm enjoying it, i'm glad Hazama gets more dialogue this time around (Ah, his voice actor also sounds so good...)! I don't mind replaying a version of the 'true' ending from Calamity Trigger either actually. It's fun, and I like how it feels like you get more info with this version. All in all, i'm looking forward to playing more tomorrow!

Speaking of similarly, I need to fix up Ragna's hair again... I'm almost to where I want it! It's been so long since i've tried to make dolls, so rustyness is guarenteed and i'm okay with that. It's a little edit here, a little edit there...! Ah, that, combined with trying to model a pose and working on 18782 and Raphael's ref might concern my night. I'm happy about it. I'm also happy to ramble on about things like this. Here's to more work getting done-- Ah, I haven't forgotten about my KazuKana long comic... I need to color that in soon... Maybe once my plate is a little clearer.

11:22pm .. .. // 8.26.2022

Busy, busy~ I finished Calamity Trigger! It's actually one of the first games I've wrote a review of! [The last one... Was in high school?]. I'm incredibly invested and today I devoted to playing it once I get some work done!!! Getting fully immersed into it, it's so fun and i'm having such a happy time! I wish I had more people to talk about it with, but I guess that's life. I'm enjoying it and it makes me happy to have something that causes me to much happiness lately!! I could go on and on about all the intricacies and just how much I love it, but as i'm writing and eating and watching anime, i'll save it.

Speaking of anime, I recently finished Pita-Ten and went onto re-watch another childhood anime, Lucky Star! Pita-Ten was cute; I wouldn't call it groundbreaking anime or anything, but it definitely was cute and felt nice to relive my childhood; I guess that's why i'm watching Lucky Star again. Both I watched in elementary school and collected volumes of and really made me want to continue art. It's nice to think back on such things. Even watching the first episode of Lucky Star again, it reminds me of my friend group in middle school/high school. Ah, it's good and bad because I keep having dreams remind me of those times. I guess it's inevitable.

Aside from that, i'm drawing and working as normal~ I'm in the middle of a commission and have a bunch of little personal prokects on my list. I also have the last Akilog written and all the art done for, now just to animate it...! Also finishing up Raphael's ref, but I have to trekk onto his hat and it's slightly uncharted territory. Things have been swirling in my mind too about OC things, little storylines and games... I'll go on all day at this rate, but i'd rather finish eating and watching stuff! It's a pretty day, hoping everyone enjoys it!

3:52pm .. .. // 8.26.2022

A new WIP of Ragna!! He isn't perfectly symmetrical at all... But thats okay! I'm not an expert!! And this is a learning experience! Hazama's hair also came. I'm going to finish Ragna first though. I'll update once his head is more together.

In an offtopic vein, I'm doing a lot of animation! Both for 18782 and something else! I did an animation test for the last Akihiko Akivlog in the game. Hopefully that'll be squared away soon.

4:17pm .. .. // 8.18.2022

A little sewing update! I've still been obsessed with Blazblue. Here's my WIP of Ragna! I didn't have normal green fabric [the type I ordered was plush, which isn't good for anything other than hair and clothes], so I had to embroider his eyes. I'm hoping I don't mess up the rest of this and it comes out okay. I'd be lying if I wasn't nervous. I wish I could talk more about BlazBlue, but i'm so unorganized. I just know i'm having fun.

In a similar note, i've been thinking how when I was a kid, I put my art up on my walls. I don't really do that now... It's a bit of a waste not to. I do have posters I want to put up too... I don't know, anything that makes me remember my upbringing in that sense causes me so much ease especially when I feel anxious. I guess the familiarity is nice.

In a work note-- I've been hard chipping away at some more animations for my game! It's hard, because there's so many intricacies I need to deal with. I feel like no matter how I phrase it, it downplays how long it takes LOL. 3 shots and accompanying animation is done for a single video. Stiching them together is going to be kind of a pain because they're all seperate files right now. Ah, it'll come together...

10:45pm .. .. // 8.15.2022

Ah, it's kind of funny... I said "I'll start with the BlazBlue anime first!" Days ago and jumped into the game... Anyway! I've played 17 hours since I got it! I don't know if that seems like a lot usually, but I'm very reigned in when it comes to such things, so it feels like I've played a lot!

Ah, it's making me really happy. I finished all of Bang, Hakumen and Carl's stories. I wasn't planning on the True End until I got 100% completion elsewhere, but my partner was watching me stream and she was like "Haha what about the true end---"--- So there I am! I'm not doing too hot against Ultimate Hakumen... Ah, not a suprise given how much grief he gave me in the first place... I wish I didn't have to fight his first form over and over too! I can't find a way to save while in a storyline though, aside from when it prompts you...

I printed out things to make a Ragna doll... And also, bought some fabric for a Hazama... Ah, it's really taken a hold of me now!

10:56pm .. .. // 8.12.2022

Felt kind of like a kid today...! I've spent the better part of the day gaming and having fun. Usually, I stress over art and other such things, but it was nice to sit down and get wrapped up in a game. While watching TV as well, I wanted to check if there was any official merch of the man who got me into the game... Ah, the Hazama figure is 600$... But there's a Ragna and Rachel nendo! I love those two too so far! I've beaten the first part of Ragna and Jin's story, i'm onto Noel's! I was so happy to see Hazama!!!!!

I'm not the best with games like this, but I keysmash and seem to usually win. Hakumen in Ragna's story gave me issues...

As a kid, I always felt guilty playing video games. I like games a lot, but i've always been annoyingly practical about stupid things (i.e., "Why am I doing something like this when I can be bettering myself??"). It was a stupid way to think, especially for a kid with no obligations. That work-fun balence is important, and today is a fun day of gaming for me!

9:32pm .. .. // 8.9.2022

I never know how to properly reply or speak to people, but to the people who've left very sweet messages on my guestbook-- thank you so much! It means a lot especially as i've been not feeling my best (and the person who asked if it was Mana--yes!!^o^9). I'm trekking on despite everything, trying style testing to get out of a rut...! A little break from feeling as if I need to post on social media is also effective. I started rewatching Pita-Ten semi recently-- that was an anime that I liked a lot as a kid and collected volumes of. I'm a little less than halfway through. I got a MyAnimeList account and hoping I can keep up!

Speaking of anime and such, i've been thinking about getting into BlazBlue... I saw a character who I dig and i'm like, sure, let's give it a shot! I'll start with the anime and if there are things that appeal to me, maybe i'll get the games. I also should start on that new Tokyo Mew Mew anime... Ah, such things will keep me busy and give me things to look forward to!

8:18pm .. .. // 8.8.2022

I've been feeling creatively stuck. Which feels quite weird for me. Artblock, or even how im experiencing it, artblock with inability to conisistantly draw, is such a foreign thing to me. I've had ideas, but little motivation. I'm trying to watch things I enjoy-- rewatching Pastoral: To Die In The Country as I write this. That movie sticks with me, so i'm hoping to get out of this rut. I'd at least like to work on my game. Maybe writing out this feeling will fix it. Maybe working on something else will fix it.

8:18pm .. .. // 8.4.2022

Again, a start with the WIP... Again, more of this wip. This ties back to the last one I posted, but here's more closer to the final. I did the preliminary under art, now it's just clothing. It's a lot still, but first starting blocky and developing as I go...!

I keep thinking a lot about the past and specifically around 2010-ish. What a nice era. I do miss a lot from back then, even if I don't miss myself then. To have todays clarity with the aesthetic of then would be lovely. I guess that's why I like neocities. I can't help but think of the ghosts of then as well, people you meet who you don't know their fate today. It's a strange feeling. Some people you can visit, but it's different. Others seem completely left by time. I guess having a memorial is something, such as a show of life via old blogs. There are people who keep appearing in my dreams, and I wonder where they are.

In a similar note, I keep wanting to pick up manga and anime again... It's very hard to hold my attention constantly, I guess that's the issue. I actually have an extensive manga collection, most of it procured when I was about 8-19, probably around 150-200 books. It's all I ever wanted as a kid. I don't think I actually have a lot of finished series, and a lot of series I look back on with a bit of self-cringing. I remember being so proud of finishing every volume of Tokyo Mew Mew [including A La Mode!] and MAR:Marchen Awakens Romance. Both hold a special place for me, even though I'd say it's more blurry. Maybe i'd revisit those soon. I know Tokyo Mew Mew has a new adaption, maybe i'll get on that. There's a comfort in remembering how much manga meant to me as a kid. I've always been quiet and distant in reguards to other people, and I spent a lot of my time reading. I'm back to reading in general after a long absence, but all i've read is surrealist books like revisiting Bataille's work, now I'm on Kafka and Baudelaire. Those have also been exercises for 18782, funny enough.

This is getting lengthy, but I'm not fretting over it. I'll leave it here, and maybe pick up some other day this thought. It's been with me for quite a few days, so I don't think it's leaving. I want to also edit how the LOGs look. They could certainly look cuter...!

8:17pm .. .. // 7.29.2022

A semi-WIP? This is preliminary sketches... And actually, not really going to be used. The base image was done to get some outfit sketching out of the way, because Raphael's full ref will be painted [which, in it's current form, the base of that is currently done and now I need these to look at]. It felt too much of a hassle to go straight into painting outfits with no plan-- as I tend to paint on 1 layer way too often [such as the current base image of Raphael's actual ref is all painted on one layer].

Artfight is also coming to a close soon. I have some unposted art I need to go back and fill in. Overall, I'm having my normal strange feelings about things again. I don't know if I should keep my logs strictly art/creation centric [it's not an outward factor decision, it's the 'whats most tidy' decision]. Either way, i'm feeling tired and antsy about things for no reason. I thought about taking a mini-social media break [not from here, I don't really count this as social media]. Who knows, i'll figure it out. I also wish I got more done for 18782 this month, but i'm not being super harsh about that. Currently, 5 out of the 11 Akilogs are fully done, and a 6th is about 40% done. By the end of the month, it'll definitely be more than half. I think i'm just overthinking things.

Ah, i'm bad at concise thoughts. In other news, i've had a WIP of an Eiichi doll staring at me, unsure if I want to start over or try and go forth. I also have a Ryutaro figure who I made legs for tonight. I believe he'll dry up by tomorrow, in which i'll smooth out the body, maybe start on the feet. Who knows~! Who knows...!

9:55pm .. .. // 7.27.2022

それは正解ですか？日本語を勉強をしてでる。英語がわたしの母国語です。

12:34pm .. .. // 7.23.2022

I decided to start doll making again today... It's been a while. It's hard for me to focus on only 1 project... Who knows when this'll get done. I have a doll thats been a WIP for over half a year. Once it get's more put together, i'll post a wip! Right now it looks very alien-esque. Pic is related.

8:43pm .. .. // 7.21.2022

Ah, I think I put too much oomph into this model... It's okay, I will finish. When/If I make a game that involves 3D figures, i'll probably go lighter.

10:45pm .. .. // 7.19.2022

Between commissions and artfight, i've been trying to make my idea of a Pinky:ST style Ryutaro figure a reality! I'm still not very good with painting... I have to go over this, especially the mouth, maybe tone down the blush as well [and straighten up the eyes-]. Ah, it's so tiny... However, I have 2 identical glasses at my desk-- one for drinking, and one for paint. I don't think i've done it yet, but I feel i'm narrowly avoiding drinking paint water. The body I made for him has the first stage of drying "done"... I guess I have to make him legs next... Once I'm content with the face, then hair... Ah, i'm trying to watch every clay tutorial on Youtube! Even if he doesn't come out the best, trying is the thing that i'm proud of. Plus, OOAK figures are cool, even if theyre not perfect...!

I still have to finish making hair for my Ai doll as well...Maybe i'll clothe my dolls too... Ryutaro's everything will be clay, however.

7:55pm .. .. // 7.19.2022

A comic snippet [again]. Trying a different way to do b/w coloring in less chibi-ish styles... Doing this again makes me think about being a kid. I was really into Shonen Jump, and religiously borrowed it from the school library in elementary school. At the end of the year, you could take home select books... I always picked Shonen Jump (except I believe once I took home a very big book on Greek mythology). I also convinced my mom to buy it from the grocery store occasionally... I still have those volumes, actually. I'm bad at getting rid of things.

Either way, I remember as a kid, Quizilla up in 5 tabs, DeviantArt up in at least 3, a tab of youtube playing either anime or some song that was big in the 00s, desperately trying to create my own version of Shonen Jump. Obviously, being in elementary school, I didn't know zines were a thing. I was so prepared to try and make my own manga...

I don't dream of making comics for a living anymore, but that's fine. I'm content doing them for myself and leaving behind something reguardless.

7:33pm .. .. // 7.17.2022

I've been thinking since last night about reduxing my first official game release, Girlfurriends. I have another VN idea I have planned, but I think it'd be cute to redux it, since the game means so much to me and my girlfriend. Annabelle and Bow's designs have changed so much since then, so I think it'd be cute to update it, maybe add a little more gameplay to it as well.

I'm in the planning stages right now. I also am planning a possible upcoming VN. 18782 is still my main project.

6:19pm .. .. // 7.15.2022

Some game work! I've been busy with Artfight, I need to get someone back, but i'm taking rest doing game work. This month's update [AKA, The August update, as i'll post my progress then] won't be a ton of stuff because of my business with Artfight.

I am trying to get work done on the Akilogs, as those take a long time. I can't say a lot of the work is hard, just very time consuming.

Here's an example. I drew the frames in a mix of Medibang and Sai, and I animate in photoshop. There are many layers, one for the head, the clothes, the body, and background. Those mainly stay the same, unless i'm adding some *spice*. The main parts that are changed are the mouth movements, the text, eye movements, and there are extra layers such as hands.

So far, 2 videos are fully done. I believe they clocked in about 2 minutes each. This one seems to be around 3 minutes. The longest part is making the mouth move, as it's many small pieces in repetition. I'm not sure the total number of individual frames, but mouths alone it's 20 x 117 right now. I can't do the math, nor do I feel like pulling out a calculator, but I'm sure it's a tiredsome amount.

10:58pm .. .. // 7.14.2022

I remember when I was in my late teens I was a walking dictionary of band histories, namely 80s goth bands.

Lucien was one of my favorite ocs then... I still do love him!

6:27pm .. .. // 7.12.2022

Working on learning Blender!!!!

4:17pm .. .. // 7.9.2022

Kazuki x Kaname comic WIP

5:13pm .. .. // 7.3.2022