I never know how to start these logs. To quote most youtubers at some point in their career-- Let's get into it.

I think I'll take a little "break" to start out this month... Not nessisarily from all of social media; Mainly just from feeling like I need to post and schedule art. I have a totally self-imposed impulse of posting every other day, and it's just not always sustainable. "I post too much OCs" "I post too much of x fanart" "I post too much of this style"-- It doesn't in actuality matter, but for me it always troubles me. So, easiest fix is to sit with myself for a couple of weeks and vibe.

My posting habits aren't the only reason. I really want to focus on two things: 1. My next game, 2. Chapter 2 of 18782's comic. The first part is the main part: I really want to get a rough draft script done, so then I can officially announce it as a project. That also means doing some promo art... So it ties in well with a break to focus on those things first. I'm hoping the project will be announce late this month or early next month! I'd say I'm 1/3 ~ 1/2 done with a rough draft script. From there, it goes into sketching ideas and tightening up the script, and then finally implementing and drawing. I really want to be more organized for this game than 18782, and I don't want this one to take years... Hopefully, end of the year? Who knows. More later when I'm fully stable on details.

Reason 2 now: Chapter 2! As I write this, I'm doing really well on that front! I've lined 10/14 pages, and need to line the chapter bumper page. It'll hopefully only take till monday, and then it's onto color which shouldn't take as long! I'm debating if I should color on my PC or not... Decisions, decisions and such. This'll first and foremost be posted here, reguardless of if I'm posting elsewhere. The one good thing about here is I don't feel I'm "bothering" people by working on the site, because it's a self project... So I feel more confident to post at my leisure.

I'm also back to hand crafting and trying my hand in Blender... More on that some other time though. I also have some reviews to post; I don't think I'll move my current reviews, but all movie/music/game reviews will be placed under the reviews tab. Anything but big reviews I'll probably group by type/month (i.e., April Movie reviews vs April's reviews). I also do want to do more site editing and clean up, but that'll be focused on later...

I guess that's all right now...! So...! Ya! Oh... And I got back into BlazBlue heavily and I've been obsessed with Charisma house worse than ever LOL.

4:01pm .. .. // 5.1.2024

Back to reading manga... I'm on volume 6 of re-reading MAR! I feel I read really slow, but I like to savor things... I'm really enjoying it. It feels like home to me... I remember being a little kid and seeing part of the first chapter previewed in a magazine-- might've been one for weapons, I don't really remember. All I know is it wasn't anything to do with anime or manga. Either way, I remember being hooked by it from that and it took a year or two for me to even get the first volume. It was the first series I ever made a cosplay for too...! Ironically, I've never seen the anime of it... Maybe that's in the cards...

I also spent time finally sitting down and reading Blue Spring today; I love the movie and I think of it often on sunny spring days. The manga is very different from the movie, but the beats are there. The art is way different than what I expected, down to the characters looks. In a weird way, I think it makes both easier to stand on their own, which is something I don't usually say about adaptations. It's an interesting gem, and while sort of hard to follow sometimes, even with the movie in the back of my mind, I still enjoyed it. It still harnessed a certain feeling and memories for me. The art in it is expressive and really fits well with the story. This is by no means a good or purposefully put together review, but I just wanted to ramble after finishing it.

It's funny. As a child, despite being born in it, I hated the summer. I hated warm weather. Now, I really enjoy it. I'm looking forward to summer.

4:07pm .. .. // 4.8.2024

This is kind of a catch up post...! The following are some reviews from last month!

Things (1989) -- 7.5/10

This is one of those movies that makes you ask-- What IS a good movie? What makes a movie good, worth watching? Is it technical skills; Acting, budget, quality? Is it about storyline and development? Is it determined by how much fun you have with it?

To me, what makes a good movie is the latter. While the former enhances the experience, sometimes a movie that isn't technically good can still be more entertaining and interesting than a technically good film.

Things (1989) is a film like that for me. On every level, it's not a good film. The quality of the film is bad, the audio is messy and looks off, the line deliveries themselves are very poorly done and not fitting at all, and the special effects of the film are not stellar and overall are just laughable. However, all of this said, I enjoyed it. I think there was a huge charm to it in a strange way; it was so laughably bad in earnest that it was enjoyable to watch it. The fact the footage is grainy and off makes it in a way more enjoyable, because I think an even clearer image of the blood, gore and the titular "Things" would make them look more ridiculous. With the bad film quality, there's more of an "unknown" factor, which leads you to see things as more creepy than they actually are since your mind fills in the gaps (that being said, the Things are still more funny than anything). The script is pretty straight forward, but you can't help but keep watching, always look forward to the next goofy scene and it keeps you interested.

Anatomy of a Fall (2023) -- 5.5 / 10

Putting this after Things (1989) is funny to me, but it also is part of the reason why I was thinking of "what makes a movie good?". By all means, this movie is a fine film, and me giving it 5.5 isn't me calling it bad at all. To me though, it's just an okay film, almost in the opposite way that Things is a good film to me.

Without spoiling too much, AoaF is what you get on the tin; straightforward, the aftermath of a fall and subsequent death. The acting was stellar and what made me push it to a 5.5 instead of just a 5. The child in the movie was amazing and convincing, not to mention the adults who have had far more years to perfect this craft. The story was solid enough that things made sense and the focus on the people and their lives was well-done. The music, at times jarring (if you watch, you'll know what I mean), fit it in an eerie way. The cold and closed off scenery reflected well on the plot and the situation. By all means, this is a good film.

With the glowing remarks out of the way, why does this fall flat? It's hard to say fully. In a way, I think personal preference comes into play heavily. Yes, it's good-- but I wouldn't call it remarkable. After watching it, I didn't feel an urge to look into production or anything behind the scenes, nor think heavily about the plot and what it entails. To me, it's good, but it's not super noteworthy. It's well crafted, but it doesn't stick out. It's a movie I'd be suprised if I remember a month from now other than to see the main cast and say, "Oh yeah, I saw that".

I feel like this comes across unessisarily scathing, but I think the simple fact is I don't connect with the film like others might, and that's fine. It's no harsh view on the film or those who enjoy it.

Pup - The Dream is Over -- 7.8 / 10

Favorite song(s): "If This Tour Doesn't Kill You, I Will" / "DVP"

Least favorite song(s): "The Coast" / "Pine Point"

The Dream is Over is the 2nd album by the band PUP. I didn't really have any prior insight into the band past listening to DVP, and then a few weeks later hearing "If This Tour Doesn't Kill You, I Will" and becoming more interested. I don't have any real frame of reference outside of this album for the band, unlike the sELF album I did a review of last time, which I've had on play for years.

This album is still a really great listen. I think the first two songs are the best by far, but the album also contains other gems in it. It's been on play since I've done the first full listen of the album, looping it as I've done workouts these last few weeks.

The opening songs "If This Tour Doesn't Kill You, I Will" and "DVP" to me are their own mini-experience. I can see why, at the time of writing this, there's a video on YouTube singling out these two to play together. The transition between them is so sleek and both of them are ultimately just fun songs.

While "The Coast" and "Pine Point" are my least favorite tracks, I don't think by any means they're bad tracks. I think The Coast helps break up the album, but personally it's not something I've tended to revisit. Same as Pine Point, it's a decent album closer, but I don't revisit it as often.

I don't have so much to say about the album cover, except I think it fits, no issues with it. Overall, this is an album I've revisited many times since to casually listen to, and at some point, I would like to listen to more of the band's discography.

11:47pm .. .. // 4.16.2024

The game is done... Now what?...

Is probably the question only on my mind. Not saying that in a self-depricating way, but in a way that everyone around me expects me to rest up now. Anyway! I'm thinking about it. My girlfriend suggested a semi-sequel game featuring Akemi, which sounds fun. I kind of want to make a visual novel again. I've had one in mind for months now and it's story-wise fleshed out, just not written out and whatnot. I want to do something reminiscent of old PC-98 games.

Ironically, game dev isn't what's at the forefront. I will probably give that a day or two. I need to re-do a lot of stuff on the site... I want to switch over themes, as the blue and browns were for winter. It feels a little late for spring... But a summer theme so soon...!? Either way! I need to remake the top things for that... I also am going to re-do the commission page-- not totally, just a new theming for the vending machine and cans. I think it's fun to change it every so often.

Aside from that, finally get back into leisurely reading and gaming. My normal day-to-day school work and job stuff isn't so poorly impacted by the game release. I do want to continue the 18782 comic... I had a few ideas for new pages for the 18782 pages on here as well... I also have some reviews I want to post, but I'll wait a day or two to look over them.

4:07pm .. .. // 4.8.2024

A more talk-y log! Since discord got rid of embeds I feel kind of lazy about imaging lol. Anyway, this is mainly some unofficial game talk.

Playtesting is going well! It's me and my gf doing it! My plan is still getting it out somewhere between the 25th-31st of the month~. I was planning a definite 25th, and while that might still be do-able, I want to make sure I can put out the art book at the same time lol. I'd rather not rush things! The artbook is mainly done, just one section to be added and then getting it together into a PDF.

The actual playtesting is going well too! There have been a good amount of bugs, but overall nothing game breaking except for one issue where you can't access something that helps determine endings... But! Still, it's not bad all things considering! A few things might be added for "quality of life" purposes (and an extra gag ending... So 8 endings (the other 7 are normal endings, but I do have a fondness for gag endings lol)). The big thing I need to fix is NPC functionality, because as it stands they end up moving kind of weirdly? I did fix it! But it needs to be properly fixed for every day's maps (which are all unique instances). Other than that and a slight issue with the forums, it's mainly just small additions to the game. As more playtests occur, I'm sure there'll be a few more spelling issues or grammar, or just general rpgm nonsense in formatting (the bulk of issues fall under spelling/grammar).

Anyway! I'm really really excited and I'm happy things are going well~ I'm super excited to get it out and move on. It feels surreal to me still, but I think to not get caught up and go "Well, finally I can work on something with a lot less moving parts" helps a lot lol

3:06pm .. .. // 3.19.2024

Mixed log here!! It's still all personal (=^-ω-^=)

First off... I've been realizing how much I've missed out on sports anime. As a teen, I really liked Free! but haven't explored the genre further. Anyway, huge mistake as I've finished the anime for Kuroko no Basuke and what's released of Blue Lock! Both are so good, I feel like I missed out on the genres high point as a teen (but as someone who doesn't tend to gravitate to fandoms, maybe it's for the best). Anyway, I want to watch other sports anime! I'm excited to! I'm slowly reading the Blue Lock manga but it takes me a while to get through manga =^∇^*=;;;; or anything when I'm doing it alone (the idea of 'savoring it').

Aside from working on game stuff and whatnot, I figured it'd be fun 2 do some small reviews of stuff I've seen/listened to recently! 'w'9

The Tale of Genji (1987) -- 6.0

This movie is absolutely gorgeous in terms of art. I know that's what drew me to seek it out in the first place, how elegant it looks. However, I feel maybe it's a fact of missing some context that leads me to give it this score. You can argue it's a fault of the movie for not making it clearer, you can argue it's me not knowing enough about the source material. However, either way it did feel a little confusing at times. I think the art way outperformed the story telling from my point of view. Perhaps if I knew more about the source material, it'd make more sense for me, but even things that required knowing source material that I did not have I've at least found story enjoyment over (i.e., the R-Kun OVA I watched before reading the manga, and while there was stuff that was confusing, the story was coherant enough to enjoy). I do still think it's worth a watch for the sheer artistry of the production.

Onibaba (1964) -- 8.0

This movie has been on my radar for a while. I really liked this one, and the focus on the human aspect with a "supernatural flare" only coming in at the end. The camera work was interesting, adding in a real sense of dread outside during the daytime and a sense of claustrophobia in the depictions of the houses. I think the story is really interesting and holds up over time, and it makes you interested in where it's going for the whole film, even though it's closer to two hours. The characters are portrayed well, giving a strong sense of motive [survival, loyalty, companionship] for each of them.

Beau Is Afraid (2023) -- 8.0

It's funny, i've hated everything this director has done, EXCEPT this, but I remember reading people did not like this one at all (When I saw the directors name, I was like, 'Oh shit, here we go again...'). I think it's a very ambitious movie, with a lot more questions than answers, but I'm actually fine with that. I enjoy the sense of questioning it left me with. Visually, it was stunning (looking at the budget of a certain movie that was inescapable over the summer and this... I don't get how this didn't get more accolades over that, given it's budget was 1/3). Anyway, bitterness aside, I liked the story, what was understood of it from a single watch. While I never felt scared, the dread and anxiety that movie was able to portray is palpable. Sometimes it hit home, even in it's exaggeration, such as the beginning sequence living in such a dangerous area. While shown hyperbolically, it perfectly captured how it feels to live in an unsafe area. The twists and turns are interesting. A 3 hour movie, but it captivated me through it's strange storytelling and fascinating visuals. A close friend of mine reccomended the movie to me when it came out, and it did not disappoint.

And last little brie-view is a small album review!

Ornament and Crime by sELF [2004/2017] -- 9.0

Favorite song: Out With A Bang // Least Favorite Song: L.A. Radio

Ornament and Crime is the seventh studio album by sELF, but was set to be the 5th. The label it was set to be released upon, DreamWorks Records, folded the day after the album was complete. However, bits of this album were floating around for years, which is when I originally heard it in 2012.

I think this album perfectly captures its intended release time and time the band was formed. I don't mind it when a record feels of it's time, and I think this holds still as a good listen. I've revisited this album and select tracks from it countless times now, but there are some less memorable ones (... I forgot L.A. Radio was even on this, but it reminds me more of commercial segments bands like cali gari put on their albums, so I don't know if it's a cop-out putting it in least favorite. In addition, I think it's not a good album ender, when if you left it off with "Out With A Bang", it would've been... Well, just that.) I think this band often gets overlooked in retrospects of the time, but it's a shame, the instrumental and singing mesh really well in this project. Am

It's not an album I have physically, but I do have to say, aesthetically, I really prefer the original album artwook for this. I don't think the current one is the worst thing I've ever seen, but I like the minimalistic finger print design, as it fits more with the album name. I also don't think the newer album art really adds much to show you what's inside.

Anyway... Back to game work 'w'9!!!

4:11pm .. .. // 2.4.2024

Personal log... I wonder why I always get such cold feet when things feel real? By all means, aside from bug-testing and subsequent artbook, 18782 is ready to be published. Yet, here I sit wanting to change things. I'd estimate the changes I want to make could take anywhere from 2-3 weeks. I want to change the forum section, the mail [streamline the code], NPC fixes [I don't believe they enter and exit right and it's pissing me off], and possibly other things. At least it's not art this time...! Kind of! I do worry about some lag on the forum pages and a total re-work would be good... if not also headache inducing. Same with a mailroom update might be good in the long-run for future players. I mean, there's no harm in a rework... Right? haha... Ah, what if there was a mail feature too-...

I feel it's becoming messy. There's no harm in sketching out new pages and re-doing... I don't know. I worry my moods get the best of me and I'll do everything and start re-doing and it'll come crashing. But, a chance is fine. If it's released mid-february or even late, that's fine too. I have multiple art pieces I still want to get done for the artbook. I think adding new features might be fun too.

I think what best exemplifies my mood right now is I'm also waiting on a purchase to be okayed through ZM. I'm buying a CD i've never heard from a band i've never heard solely based on the seller's description. I can't find much about it online, either. Ah, risks are fun sometimes though, aren't they?

8:06pm .. .. // 1.30.2024

A little rambly log! Some 18782 game talk as I get closer and closer to the finish line...!

I'm nearly done with all of the images... The main thing I have to do is re-do the art when you look into the mirror in the bathroom and then credits art! I do have art to do for the art book and stuff, but it's fine; I can continue doing artbook things while it's being playtested. Coding is nearly done too except for things relating to the ending and switching out old art! If I try hard hopefully this week it'll be ready for playtesting-- what a weird thing to be able to say!! I'm nervous and very excited... I also want to get this out so bad that I'm slacking on other art, but like a bear in hibernation, I'll gather up art and throw it out into the world after a bit.

This is a shorter log than I intended, but I guess my takeaway is that I'm working hard! I'm back from my vacation back onto my studying and working, so it's a little different. But, it'll get done and soon...!! Excited, excited, excited...!!

3:42pm .. .. // 1.8.2024

This is just a simple rambling log. I feel I've said it everywhere, so I'll say similar feelings here too because they almost feel overwhelming. 18782 is getting so close to being done, and it's such a strange feeling. I always get a weird feeling towards the end of the year; I think everyone does though, don't they? A new begining, an end, life going on and picking up, whatever way to wax poetic about it.

I'm working on implementing the final day in 18782. There's still extra work to adjust various things in the other days too, then it'll be off to playtesting, then released. It's daunting, and it's a bit nervewracking. I've been going through my own personal archives and I think there's a lot of emotion stirring up from that too. Some is good, some is a bit of sadness. There's something strange about working on something for so long. I don't expect my next project to take as long; as it'll be more linear in a way. It also (hopefully) won't have the life challenges that 18782 experienced.

As I'm writing the game updates down on a .txt files, as I do every month before I refine my words and post to itch.io and tumblr, it's a happy and unreal feeling. This month probably holds the most updates in a long time, and it feels strange to stare down at, as of right now, 13 bullet points. It might get carved down to group things together, but it's strange. I keep writing down what needs to be done, and a lot of it is text-based. It feels nice. As of right now, If I continue at a similar pace, it seems I'll have it out to playtest next month... Next month! Ah, that sounds so scary in a way!

I'm just riddled with emotions right now over it. It feels strange and dream-like... Pausing for a second to think about it is a strange reflection... I'm happy to work on it, happy to get it done, happy to think about new projects, happy to know I'll live on in some form putting art out there (I swear I don't mean to be ominous there; I just love the idea of art making people eternal...!)

5:07pm .. .. // 12.16.2023

Tama Doll Updates

I've been working on Tama-Doll [lovingly named] for a few months now! I've done a lot of work on them, so here's a little chronicle of it!

The doll is a PicoNeemo! Suprisingly, I didn't find much in terms of things on these dolls, at least on the English-speaking web. Which, honestly it's a bit of a shame because for dolls, these are a decent size, 1/6 I believe, and in USD they totalled about 30$-35$, not including shipping and proxy fees. Granted, they don't have the most amazing poseability, but they're definitely not bad, and especially for someone like me who wants to make their OCs in doll form. [PicoNeemos do come in other sizes, the Chihiro doll WIPs were also PicoNeemo, I believe 1/12 but I don't want to go back and look now lol]

Anyway, because of the lack of information, and being someone who doesn't really know much about dolls and textures, I couldn't figure out what exactly they were made out of. Some type of plastic, it feels, but I'm no expert. Anyway, my first attempt was trying to print out eyes, glue them on and paint them. I don't have a color printer, and this method... had some shaky results. Akiko, the other doll I'm making with the same type of doll, just slightly different base, still has hers on months later. I don't know if I'm keeping it though.

I didn't think the printed and painted faces worked well for Tama, so I took them off and straight painted on the doll, sealing it with some mod podge. However, this is not the final face either, and I'll get into that in a second.

Next was the hair! Luckily for me, this was not my first time making a doll wigcap and hair. I used the method of yarn for the hair, which includes brushing it out with a dog-brush, flat ironing it and making it into wefts. The hair that comes from this is soft and for me, feels a lot easier to use than synthetic hair. I made the wig cap by covering the head with plastic wrap, putting fabric ontop, securing it with rubber bands and mod podging it to hell and back until it was hardened. I put the finished wefts on in a circular patterns, mimicking a real hair line. The wefts were also glued on with mod podge. I kind of forgot to take pictures between the steps, but I will if I can remember for Akiko. However, her wig cap is already done-- but this is stuff I learned from YouTube, so theres tutorials out there!

I cut Tama-Doll's hair with scissors-- first normal ones and then hair cutting scissors. However, the issue came when I was cutting it shorter and shorter... Which is... The extra hair bits stuck to their face, presumeably due to the mod podge. It also had an unpleasant slight stickiness-- not horrible, but like used tape -- which was not ideal. This led me to having to completely remove their face through various rounds of water and soap. It was not a pleasant experience, and I don't suggest doing that method to anyone.

Their current face is watercolor pencils. I think it works well, and the hair does not stick to it. This seems like the best method I've found for their face. It's not sealed by anything at the moment.

This is when their hair was finished! I used an oil-based mist to help shape their hair-- sadly it got a bit messed up when I dressed them. I made sure when I cut their hair to leave an under-layer for their braid. I bought extra small rubber-bands to keep it in place after I braided it.

Right now, I'm planning to get them some pants and shoes-- ironically, shoes are coming first. It'll be my first attempt at shoes too! For their sweater, I did a basice trace of their body and sewed two pieces together. It's a little oversized, so I might cut it back a bit. I want to add velcro to the back, because taking off their head from their body messes up their hair, and it's a pain to style properly, especially their bangs. But, this is currently how they sit...! I'm very happy!

4:08pm .. .. // 11.20.2023